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The
Animal
Buy
It
Starring:
Rob Schneider, Colleen Haskell, John C. McGinley and
Edward Asner
Directed
by: Luke Greenfield
Writing
credits: Tom Brady (story)
Happy
Madison
productions brings you another hysterical movie!Granted, anybody
who has ever known or been around animals will laugh a little
harder, but still this is the funniest movies in quite a while.
Rob
Schneider was the perfect man to pull this puppy off. He's,
um, er, petite and we bought the loser turned animal bit- a
little too easily perhaps. The story was surprisingly unique
and fast paced.
You'll
want to avoid any kind of intaking of fluids while viewing this
movie, because dollars to donuts it'll come blasting out of
your nostrils onto the guy in front of ya—- trust me.
Story
goes... Marvin Mange (Rob -If he were only a smidge taller-
Schneider) is a wimpy asthmatic loser with exponents the size
of Benicio del Toro's thighs. He's desperate to get on the police
force, but as he's failed the obstacle course four times there's
a better chance of Rosie O'Donnell being straight...
He's
left alone one day while the rest of the boys form the precinct
are out playing some ball. He gets a 211 (armed robbery) call
and has to go it alone. Enroute he is derailed by a circus seal
mysteriously blocking the road. He flies over the cliff, in one
of the funniest car-over-the-cliff- scenes I've ever seen, and
is left a broken man— literally.
A
strange ranger sort saves him by rebuilding him a' la the six
million dollar man meets Dr. Doolitle. So Marvin's more of a
Frankenweenie human with a keen sense of smell that's perpetually
in a state of heat. See, Marvin gets his new chance at life
after miscellaneous animal parts are transplanted through a
procedure known as "Radical Transpeciesoctomy" or
some such nonsense. And after a whole week's recovery (go with
it) he's back in the world of Human Erectus'.
Problem
is his new animal parts he inherited are taking' over the his
normally dormant animal instincts. The hilarity begins.
He
meets a pretty gal and animal activist, Riana (Colleen Haskell-yes,
that girl from Survivor- who happens to have a degree in theater.
Hmm. Nah, that show was real. It wasn't a fix. The cast was
really just everyday actors-er-models-er-folks like us). Will
the love bug bite or Marvin?
Then just as poor Marvin finds happiness, some manbeast is ripping
apart cows at night. The village people want blood, Marvin's
blood. That and to carry their lit torches in an angry mob!
What's
to become of the elfin Marvin? Will he be hunted down like wild
boar, and his bulbous head mounted on the mayor's wall? Or will
he settle down with a nice Billy goat from the right side of the
tracks and start a small herd of his own?
You'll have to just go and see, because this one is highly recommended.
There
are a couple of other cast members that need mention. Norm MacDonald,
who I'd jump on like a rabid Rhesus monkey in need of a tranquilizer
if given the chance, plays a callous mob member riddled with
confusion at how the whole darn mob mentally flows. Of course
Adam Sandler makes an appearance- ever so briefly- to cheering
audience members. That was weird. And Marvin's nemesis the sargeant
at his police department, played by John C McGinley, is as obnoxious
as any drunken bleacher quarterback in the cheap seats at the
superbowl. Brilliantly funny!
Hmm, I use to dislike Sandler so very much. Now there's this new
funny trend he's jumped on. I may have to rethink this year's
ASSCUKA (American Sandler Sucks-Cocky-UnfunnyKreep- Association)
membership dues...Cause the boy can pick them. Funny movies to
produce I mean.
Snack recommendation: Badger milk and semi-chewed earthworm.
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