 Bewitched
 
Starring:
Nicole Kidman, Will Ferrell, Michael caine, Shirley MacLaine and Jason Schwartzman
Directed.written
by: Nora Ephron
Bluntly
speaking? Egads I am about to use a mediocre adjective, as also a nutshell
haiku verb, Bewitched is adequate. Nothing more. And for the gold
bullion required to sally forth to a theater, they'd better have good cause -
an' adequate does not a journey forth maketh. Story
goes....Ac-tor Jack Wyatt (Will Ferrell) wants to redo the beloved TV series 'Bewitched,'
in hopes of jump starting his flailing career. But he needs to find the perfect
Samantha - one that he can look better next to, manipulate, and ultimately not
take away from his radiant "star." He and we all know the fate-of-the-Darrens... Anyway...blah
blah blah....forced laugh - giggles ahead, he finds Isabel (Nicole Kidman) - well
her "nose." And that's it! Jack knows Isabel is perfect for the part
of Samantha, the TV witch. Oh, and of course we all know she happens to also be
a card carrying broom-cruisin bonifide witch. But she's more a kind of recovering
witch. Trying to leave the brood...be "normal." As opposed to an Abbie
Normal chickbabe with to-die-for powers at a twitch...no one's ever happy. But
faster then you can try and name the "Samantha" who made Bewitched
really good way-back-when, Isabel really gets a slap of mortal life. She learns
Jack's kind of an ass, and not exactly what he pretends to be (Jack's an actor
remember?). So, Issie starts whipping up some toil and trouble, before he gets
a chance to polish any...MTV Awards or Emmys. Now
ya didn't see that twist comin' didya? Holy crimeney where's my Citizen Kane
dvd I need to bathe off the mental goo of all these franchises, repugnant remakes,
and regurgitations. Remember when there were still good strong original
films to be had? Nicole
Kidman is actually quite cute as a twitching witch using her powers as all gals
would; getting the rat bastard back, insta-cute car whammies, and better service
at a restaurant. But, even the ever-perk bunny can't save a plodding forced-felt
script. Will
Ferrell is starting to grate upon my frail nerves. Sure, he's one of the funniest
fellas walking - but the film folks can't seem to get him a proper vehicle to
radiant in. People when was the last time he was truly funny? Right...SNL, and
Austin Powers...I shall stop before I say something extreme...but my loyalties
are slippin' fast. Shirley
MacLaine is primo as Endora the mortal-hating uber-bitchy would-be mother-in-law
witch. Dear Jason Schwartzman in a big budget film
- awe shucks. Too bad this one kinda sucks. But he's good -as usual. And I shall
pretend I didn't see Michael Caine and Steve Carrell among the mish mosh. I
see where Ms. Usually Grand Nora Ephron is coming from; perhaps she and the gals
were three bottles in, started chatting about an ex-Spelling TV star, and then
said, "He should do a remake of 'Bewitched' he'd be a purrfect Darren."
Then click-clack, "That's a great idea for a film." Wine goggles - I
blame wine goggles.' Bewitched's
funny bits and general ambience can be seen in the trailers bombarding you at
every turn. Really there's just fill awaiting you at the multi-plex. Die-hard
original fans may love the few nods to the show. The rest of ya? Wait till Netflicks. Snack
recommendation: Gorton's Fish Sticks snuck into another film... | 
