Nicole Kidman, Cameron Bright, Anne Heche, Danny Huston and Lauren
Directed by: Jonathon Glazer
speaking? Whayarday thinkin' here folks? Wholly criminey is
this awful. Birth is a haphazard discombobulated mess with
a major talent drowning in the film's placenta-like goo. From
the first few frames you realize the filmmakers have hoodwinked
you with a cool premise, and now lured - captured - we sit like
punished children as it plods along towards its re-taaarded
Anna (Nicole Kidman) lost her husband Sean ten years
ago. He had a heart attack while jogging. On the eve of her announcement
to wed a new beau, Joe (Danny Huston), an odd lurking ten year
old child (Cameron Bright) waltzes in and announces he's her dead
spouse reincarnated - and he wants her back as his wife.
at first, the family is giggling and wondering how this kid knows
so many intimate details of the couple's perfect life together...
Anna, who's a trauma away from a breakdown anyway, buys into the
kid's tale like a blue-chip fund. She starts to believe he is
indeed Sean her dead beloved. Her new fiancé Joe has a
hissy fit - and storms out of the relationship. Her family freaks
out - but condones the child kind of moving in for a trial cohabitation
Sean the Younger, lives a relatively un-guardianed life...hoofin'
it through the streets of New York as he pleases at all hours
- all in pursuit of his "love" Anna - while the kid's
family just seems to get all quiet and self-reflective on themselves
after this little sociapath announces one eve to mommy, "I
am not your stupid son anymore!"
to call the pediatric shrink lady...and fast!
Sean the dead man? Can a forty-year-old woman happily live with
a ten-year-old as man and wife? Did anyone think this film through
before signing in ink?
pick at the film further is futile - you get the drift. But there
are a few bits that make one really ponder the wasted eve... the
kid - aka the returning spouse - has the personality of a gnat
and he's down right creepy/rude. So, one begs, was Anna in love
with an ass to begin with? Or did Sean's journey to the other
side just kind of rob him of his persona? This young actor, Cameron,
had the SAME role in Godsend
a few months ago. Which brings me to the acting. It is horrible
by all involved, especially Anne Heche who shows as a deranged
sister-in-law. The ensemble is over dramatic soap opera SNL skit-ish.
don't even get me started on the obligatory sex scene with Kidman
and Huston ...it may make you hurl - and it was sooo unnecessary
- I think the director wanted to see Kidman's booby. Then there's
the big buzz scene 'tween the minor and consenting adult in a
bathtub you are bound to hear about. That slice of absurdity will
have you searching out the welcomed illumination of the theater's
Exit sign should you forego my warning here and venture forth.
But wait there's more! What in the h-e- double hockey sticks was
with the editing? The film hosts these "held" scenes
that look as if the editor's console got jammed and slices of
subplot clues even Sherlock Holmes would raise an eyebrow at.
Horrible. And speaking of horrible
the score, by Alexandre
Desplat, has got to be for another film. It's a wildly inappropriate
and utterly disenchanting hodge podge of sound. Pooh poo to all
involved and I am sending a bill for my wasted time as we speak
to the producers. Yeck
recommendation: Norm's Tucson Turkey melts and diet cokes
while deciding on what other film to see