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movie reviewsBeyond Borders

Starring: Angelina Jolie, Clive Owen, Teri Polo, Noah Emmerich and Linus Roache
Directed by: Martin Campbell
Rated R

 

Angelina Jolie must have one of those "movie star" clauses in her contract…but it's not for an hourly cellulite reducing massage or mauve M&M's served in a cobalt tureen - no - it appears to say Ms. Jolie will only make-out viciously with manly men women want to see make out! Bravo! There's no cadaver-like denture-sporting old-time actors slurping up this girl. Angie's locking lips with some of the hottest men Hollywood can muster up kids (the BB Thornton fiasco in Pushing Tin firmly aside - what was she thinking - on both counts?). Gone in Sixty Seconds, she had Nic Cage all bad-boyed up with nice car accessories to match his baby-blues…In Original Sin she wrapped a naked Antonio Bareass err, Banderas in Egyptian cottons for our viewing pleasure…and now our little vixen delivers yet another fantasy inducing manlyberry studmuffin to the fold, Mr. Clive Owen. Clive is pure man heroin gals. And here you get two hours of him all manly manned up...

The story goes…newly wed Sarah Jordan (Jolie) attends a hoity toity-styled save the children dinner. Suddenly Dr. Nick Callahan (Clive Owen) bursts in waiving a starving child about exposing the charity for the puffed up ego-serving venue it is.

He's escorted out - natch - but not before he and his tangible proof makes a life-changing impression on the gal. She cashes in her savings and heads off to deliver supplies herself to his camp of starving refugees.

Immediately she clashes with her surrounding and Dr. Nick Callahan - the same man that caused such a ruckus back in Londontown. She is a city gal amongst the Peace Corp crew but she means well …

Her brief visit has her returning a bit defeated and deflated but determined to make a difference. She changes professions and grows into a high-powered representative of the U.N.

This is a good thing…. because she also fell head over heels with Dr. Nick (- you know the old treat a gal like dog poo on your shoe and their heart is yours cliché) and she'll need her U.N. contacts to stalk, err, track Dr. Nick.

We follow Sarah through years (literally) and the ends of the world as she follows Dr. Nick. Their odd love story is a beautiful thing within an all too true picture of the world's starved and war torn. The scenes can be quite disturbing since director Martin Campbell, didn't hold back and "Hollywood" up the dramas real-life people like these face every day. There's tons of realistic horrors thrown in with the heart's willingness to pull off the absurd.

Example of just-not-gonna-happen? I can't think of too many mom's that would leave a coupla of her own toddlering little doe-eyed kids behind to galavant off to Timbuktu for penis! Ms. Sarah Feelforhtechildrenoftheworld does just that! Argh. The story just steps into the 'Land of Nonsensical Ravings of a Lunatic Mind' by act three; and it becomes very Lara Croftish...outfits and all.

Still, Angelina is as beautiful as ever and does a nice job as the eye-opened gal on a mission.

And this Clive Owen is just a smorgasbord of manly yum! Brooding bad boy yet instantly jovial boy toy…just as hot in Armani as Khakis…what more could a gal ask for. Talent? Yep, he's got a heapin' helpin' of that too.

Bluntly Speaking: Beyond Borders, while ultimately a love story, is by no means a happy-go-lucky film; be warned.

Snack Recommendation: A 300-calorie Banana and Jack Daniels.

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