Starring: Angelina Jolie, Clive Owen, Teri Polo, Noah Emmerich
and Linus Roache
Directed by: Martin Campbell
Jolie must have one of those "movie star" clauses in
but it's not for an hourly cellulite reducing
massage or mauve M&M's served in a cobalt tureen - no - it
appears to say Ms. Jolie will only make-out viciously with manly
men women want to see make out! Bravo! There's no cadaver-like
denture-sporting old-time actors slurping up this girl. Angie's
locking lips with some of the hottest men Hollywood can muster
up kids (the BB Thornton fiasco in Pushing
Tin firmly aside - what was she thinking - on both counts?).
Gone in Sixty Seconds, she had
Nic Cage all bad-boyed up with nice car accessories to match his
In Original Sin she
wrapped a naked Antonio Bareass err, Banderas in Egyptian cottons
for our viewing pleasure
and now our little vixen delivers
yet another fantasy inducing manlyberry studmuffin to the fold,
Mr. Clive Owen. Clive is pure man heroin
gals. And here you get two hours of him all manly manned up...
newly wed Sarah Jordan (Jolie) attends a hoity
toity-styled save the children dinner. Suddenly Dr. Nick Callahan
(Clive Owen) bursts in waiving a starving child about exposing
the charity for the puffed up ego-serving venue it is.
escorted out - natch - but not before he and his tangible proof
makes a life-changing impression on the gal. She cashes in her
savings and heads off to deliver supplies herself to his camp
of starving refugees.
Immediately she clashes with her surrounding and Dr. Nick Callahan
- the same man that caused such a ruckus back in Londontown. She
is a city gal amongst the Peace Corp crew but she means well
brief visit has her returning a bit defeated and deflated but
determined to make a difference. She changes professions and grows
into a high-powered representative of the U.N.
is a good thing
. because she also fell head over heels with
Dr. Nick (- you know the old treat a gal like dog poo on your
shoe and their heart is yours cliché) and she'll need her
U.N. contacts to stalk, err, track Dr. Nick.
follow Sarah through years (literally) and the ends of the world
as she follows Dr. Nick. Their odd love story is a beautiful thing
within an all too true picture of the world's starved and war
torn. The scenes can be quite disturbing since director Martin
Campbell, didn't hold back and "Hollywood" up the dramas
real-life people like these face every day. There's tons of realistic
horrors thrown in with the heart's willingness to pull off the
Example of just-not-gonna-happen? I can't think of too many mom's
that would leave a coupla of her own toddlering little doe-eyed
kids behind to galavant off to Timbuktu for penis! Ms. Sarah Feelforhtechildrenoftheworld
does just that! Argh. The story just steps into the 'Land
of Nonsensical Ravings of a Lunatic Mind' by act three; and it
becomes very Lara Croftish...outfits and all.
Angelina is as beautiful as ever and does a nice job as the eye-opened
gal on a mission.
this Clive Owen is just a smorgasbord of manly yum! Brooding bad
boy yet instantly jovial boy toy
just as hot in Armani as
what more could a gal ask for. Talent? Yep, he's got
a heapin' helpin' of that too.
Speaking: Beyond Borders, while ultimately a love story,
is by no means a happy-go-lucky film; be warned.
Recommendation: A 300-calorie Banana and Jack Daniels.