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Miss
Congeniality
 
Buy
It
Starring:
Sandra Bullock, Michael Caine, Benjimen Bratt, Candice Bergen
and William Shatner
Directed By: Donald Petrie
Sandra
Bullock is such a cute woman. She's like your whacky easy going
distant cousin or something. A comfortable natural actress. I
really love this chick. That's what's hard here. Her delivery
of bad- sitcom- writing- put- on- film was as funny as she could
have made it, but overall every scene in Miss Congeniality
is just too Commander McObvious. Telegraphed. I actually rolled
my eyes-TWICE!
Story
goes a serial killer has sent a letter with a mysterious riddle
to the FBI...They immediately figure it out; He plans on
attacking the Miss United States contest. Hmm. What will they
do? The FBI lead by a group of Neanderthal guys (here I mean)
decide they need a sexy woman/agent to go undercover in the pageant.
They all look around stupefied, right past C- Class- Tom Boy-
Plane Jane agent Gracie Hart (Sandy). Who? They browse the FBI
data base frantically. Who? Who? Light dawns on the rococo
heads and -after they use a computer gadget to dress her in a
bathing suit (don't ask)- they think "How about Gracie Hart?
Could this shedog-classless-sweatpant wearing-bulldike pull it
off? Nah, she'd never convince anyone she's attractive! Um people?
It's just Sandra Bullock with a ponytail and no makeup. Give us
a break! San's one of those natural beauties that rolls outta
the bed with that ever perky cutesy ready to go face. Having all
these (straight) guys rag on her seemed ridiculously spurious!
Okay,
so go with it. Next scene please.
Gracie really needs this assignment to get her FBI career back
on path. She's a bit of a defective detective and is presently
up for the feared and dreaded review. She agrees to play
girlie girl for the guyz.
Enter
the head highfalutin pageant staff Stan (William Shatteredshadoobietner)
and Kathy (Candice Bergen) who, too, think Gracie's simply hideous.
They advise flamboyant makeover/pageant nazi specialist Vic (Michael
"always fabulous" Caine) to make her into a woman ala
an edited 48 hour My Fair Lady routine.
Viola!
Vic, and his army of beauticians, transcend homely Gracie into
a super model-esque -bombshell- babe central more than ready to
play a Miss New Jersey. In other words Sandra Bullock with highlights
and a touch of make-up shimmied into a figure hugging dress.
Gracie starts to find her feminine side-reluctantly (this equals
most of the humor in the film). Oh, and now that she's actually
attractive, she's starting to like boys too. Particularly her
obnoxious cocky conceited-though-one-can-not-figure about what-coworker
Eric. Natch- gotta have love no? Too many subplots.
Will she be able to redeem herself in the bureau via this charade?
Will she shed her idiot never do well agent of the year status
by catching the luntic? Will she ever learn to apply bikini
wax, properly, on her own? SNORE!
Miss
Congeniality relies completely on Bullock's exquisite timing.
But even that doesn't help if you leave her up there with no script,
paper mache costars, over acting TV stars, a woosie/lame/mentally
unattractive love interest and a stale bagel of a story. Geeze
without Bullock's performance this totally would have bit
the rotting half eaten kielbasa in two. I mean MC is torpid
and generic with way too few hearty laughs to keep you from squirmy
about in your seat wondering "what time did Grinch
start in theater four?" Rent Drop
Dead Gorgeous if you want to see how a funny movie on
the beauty pageant world is done! This is all formula
Snack
recommendation: Donuts, pizza and beer.
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