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This
summer is turning into "The Summer of Great Movies!"
You know a lot of critics have been blasting DBS as a
Jaws rip-off. Oh, okay, like wasn't that a fish movie
from like, 1975? Helllooo? 24 years ago! DBS has special
effects that make the Jaws shark look like a
big pussy guppy fish. And other than the fact there
is also a shark or two in DBS -there is NO comparison.
First of all, that dweeb Richard Dreyfus was the male
"lead" in Jaws; in DBS we have studly smoltry
buns of steel, Thomas Jane.
Secondly? Two words and an initial for youSamuel
L. Jacksonlord of the quirky and interesting!
You
know for a society that thinks 22 Halloweens and
about a gazillion Nightmare on Elm Street movies
are the shyt, DBS is what it isFUN! Why listen
to the stupid buzz! Get some Hollywood insect repellent
and go see this.
Here's the tale of terror: the Aquatica, a deep sea research
facility, has been playing God with a few Mako sharks,
of course, all in the name of science. The scientists
genetically enlarged the brains of these uni-fin killers
to "harvest" a serum that could very well cure
Alzheimer's (but no one can quite remember the formula--no
kidding!) Subsequently, three of these fish babies happen
to be about 45 feet long! Just terrifying.
Dr.
Susan "Skeletor "McAlester (Saffron Burrows,
who makes Ally McBeal look chunky) has to convince pharmaceutical
big wig Russell Franklin (Samuel L. Jackson) the facility
is worth continuing his company's investment.
So off they go, to the desolate station for the weekend.
Oh, by the way, there's a huge hurricane approaching.
Naturally.
Tsk,
tsk, they should have been nicer to the whittle sharkie
warkies. That harvesting of the medulla oblongata is getting
them a little cranky and they have a hair across their
prehistoric ass and they're on the hunt for "people
food"--literally. Apparently, having their brains
enlarged also enlarged their appetites, and as expected,
they start chowing on the crew at the Aquatica. Hey, it's
a horror flick plot! Telegraphing is fully expected. We
just wonder who dies first, and how and when and what
wine goes with "torso". The special effects
are totally believable-wicked good. Sammie L. has thee
best scene in this-we won't tell you! But it's sort of
a "here today--gone to Maui" scene. Eeeerrrie!
Cook Sherman Dudley. (LL Cool J) is determined not to
be fish food! He's hysterical as he wiggles past
one of the hungry trio of feisty fishes. Shark wrangler,
Carter Blake (Thomas Jane) is strutting around in his
tight little wet suit-meeeeow! He's a man with
a past--so you know, he is the designated hero boy (with
just the right musculature and bun tightness).
This was a fun summer night at the movies. Head out and
enjoy it for what it is, a shark movie with a couple of
bad ass sharks hunting some people folk and decent looking
hunk to make it all palatable.
Snack Recommendation: Sushi of course.
Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Thomas Jane,
LL Cool J, Jacqueline McKenzie and Saffron Burrows
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