of the Dead
Starring: Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, Mihki Pfifer, Jake
Webber and Inna Korobkina
Directed by: Zack Snyder
Speaking? It's more like Dawn
of the Dull...The Deadly Dull.
I like a good old snarling zombie type dining on living
flesh flick as much as the rest of 'em - but please, please give
me something to keep my interest between the necrosistic noshing
and cheesy special effects!
Ana (Sarah Polley) a nurse of the eve of all Hell breaking
loose..feels things are a bit weird at her hospital. A man, in
for a simple "bite," is now in I.C. fighting for his
she goes home and snookie cuddles with her husband.
she's awakened by a young neighbor standing in her bedroom, snap
turtleing her man's jugular, she's sure something's wrong.
escaping her born again zombie spouse, and the evil tiny zombie,
Ana joins up with a few of the still living and holes up in a
local mall for safety.
mall rats, in the form of security guards, are none too accommodating,
but she her new friends, an ex-marine (Ving Rhames), a couple
that are two-days-from-a-baby-popping (Mihki Pfifer and Inna Korobkina)
and a clean-cut dull-kinda-bloke (Jake Webber), make do with the
oddly instantly hostile trio of militant minimum wagers and set
up house. As the clichés are flying and the dialog plods
along, a few more "living-ish" folks find sanctuary
among the mall's corridors.
But these survivers are getting bored..err...restless, and decide
they must leave the mall. The
plan? They figure, at dawn, they'll turn a couple of mall shuttle
buses into chainsaw totin' tanks to weed through the dead in hopes
of getting to a boat to sail to an island. Stupid? Yeah. But the
film's not trying to be logical, smart or even terribly engaging
fact, nothing really happens aside from a big dead crowd gathering
of thrift store hand-me-down clad movie-extras made up like cheap
Halloween supplied block-party participants, dripping Hershey
syrup-like blood, and nibbling on special effect "froth mouth"
tablets, who stay by the mall's entrances growling and waiving
their fists at their prey. Apparently zombies can't break glass
then the shots we do get of the zombies in attack mode are too
quick to indulge our effect lovin' eyeballs, they are repetitive
and dull. Especially considering what could be done these
The best part of the film for me - besides its end - is the birth
of the film's baby. Eek. As if childbirth were not in itself horrifically
scary - this chick's maybe-baby is poking through her womb in
that "It's Alive" manner. Yech. It looks very rabid
hamster running in circles just below the skin line-ish. Shudder!
Pass the Ortho Novum pate please!
original film of the same name, by George A. Romero is still leaps
and bounds above this new and supposedly improved edition. Rent
George's, along with 28 Days Later
or Cabin Fever for a trilogy of
real scary zombie action in the safety of your own home!
recommendation: A big ol' industrial popcorn to trough on
and stay awake if you decide to forgo my warning and venture forth
to fork over the geld to see this fiasco!