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 Goldmember
Starring:
Mike Meyers, Micheal Caine, Beyounce Knowles, Verne Troyer, Seth
Green, Mindy Sterling, Heather Graham, Michael York...
Directed by: Jay Roach
Rated: PG-13
Yeah
Baby! Goldmember, aka Austin Powers 3, is a frolicking
mojo-infused laugh fest extravaganza folks! It's silly, stupid
and just freakin' hysterical.
Admittedly I adore Mike Meyers
and his brand of humor. If you don't you'll hate this I
assure you. Be warned, Goldmember throws every past proven
hit at you and takes the genre of "potty" humor to a
new level by adding about a gazillion squared bowel and dick jokes
into the haggis. All the while letting you (the audience) now
they (the cast) know you're there by continually "breaking
the fourth wall" or glancing out at you to wink. A technique
I often find funny and here especially.
Is it brilliant? No. Is it fresh? No. But it's a silly summer
soiree with Meyers, his bevy of characters, and talented cast
mates that'll lighten your day a bit....like a comedy is suppose
to.
Goldmember's
story (and I use that word in its most elementary form - though
without contempt) finds delishly dashing studmuffin Austin Powers
(Mike Meyers), the perpetually horny 1960's International Man
Of Mystery, now fully residing in the present day. He's given
up his swinging pad of beatniks and mods and presently dwells
among the technologies of today. Of course he still dresses like
a fifth Beatle on the Sgt. Pepper cover and his pad is still a
Peter Max blur of colors complete with mods and beatniks lingering
about, but who's nitpicking?
He's
just been knighted by the Queen and even though Aus is a super
sexy beast with oodles of adoring minions and fab chickbabes parading
around his perimeter. But even for happy-go-lucky Aus, some things
never change. See Austin's daddy Nigel (Michael - nice choppers
Alfie - Caine), was once again not there for Austin. Sniff.
Nigel,
who himself is a super sexy ladiesman and former spy, has just
never been the hands-on father figure Austin longed for.
But none the less, when a horrible evildoer named Goldmember (Mike
Meyers as well) kidnaps the older spy-who-loves-to-shag Austin
must travel back in time to rescue him from certain peril.
Back
Austin goes in his swanky time -traveling pimp mobile. Back to
1975 he treks to catch the evil Goldmember in his evil lair….
a discothèque ala Studio 54.
Goldmember
has a disturbing evilism; he paints the penises of his nemisis'
gold - hence the clever name. That and it was a 007 Bond film
keeping with the whole British spy story the series follows. Duh.
The introduction of "Goldmember" and his artful evil
signature also happens to be Penis Reference 1298271 and we are
only ten minutes into the film.
At
the club/evil lair Austin meets up with this episodes vixen, Foxy
Cleopatra (Beyounce Knowles). FC is a cool sleak chickbabe with
a styling fro and oodles of woman power attitude. Austin can barely
behave.
Austin finds his father while…. what's this? Goldmember has
escaped back into the future?And joined Dr. Evil in Evil's latest
lair…. a Dr. Evil shaped submarine? Naturally Foxy and Austin
follow and the true mayhem ensues. Dr. Evil and Goldmember have
hatched an evil plan to flood the world unless the world forks
over one billion gazillion trillion yen. Austin is the only
secret agent that can stop them.
Basically
it's the same story as before with the same cast…. even the
same jokes. But Goldmember is still a hootenanny of extreme
proportions. Your old faves are there like Fat Bastard, Dr. Evil,
Mini-me, Frau Farbissen, Number Two, Scott and so on.
The
new sexy sidekick Foxy Cleopatra played by Beyonce Knowles is
as beautiful and enjoyable as Austin's past loves. Knowles is
the lead from that sensation de jour Destiny's Child. A stunning
woman.
Meyers' new character Goldmember is an alabastor blonde freckled
Dutchman with grotesque personal idiosyncrasies like nibbling
on his wafer-thin ever-peeling skin, an odd annoying vernacular
and outrageous gold-toned creepy perv leisure wear complete with
protruding groin area accents. Shiver. This newbie is just
plain old funny and makes Fat Bastard and his love of his own
bowel movements and ill placed hedonism relatively charming. Meyers
proves he can still whip up rounded characters from his mind of
pure comic genius! So let's count ....Meyers, who is by far one
of the greatest living comedians, plays four roles in this film;
Dr. Evil, Austin Powers, Fat Bastard and Goldmember. Each takes
tons of make up and each is decidely different. Mikey delivers
them flawlessly and exact as expected. Though Goldmember's
mannerisms are a tad Dr. Evilish if -he-were-a-eunuch-ish.
Frau Farbissen, played by the brilliant Mindy Sterling, has a
few juicy scenes with her mate Dr. Evil. If you're ever in Los
Angeles look up Mindy at The
Groundlings. She's a member of the troupe and often stars
in their fabulous "Cooking With Gas" show on Thursday
nights….her 'son' Seth Green, often shows as well.
You know Seth better as Scott, Dr. Evil and Frau Farbissin's disgruntled
goody-two-shoes-son. Here the lad has a few key scenes with pappa.
Dr. Evil's other son, Mini-me played by Verne Troyer, delivers
a few sidesplitting scenes too. Verne's funniest frames involve
outlandish violence on the poor diminutive fellow.
Sure
Goldmember's not new, fresh, ground breaking or any of
the words one usually longs for to draw you out of the comfort
of your domicile. It's really the same old song and dance but
for your bone tickling fancy Myers has added the adorable Foxy
Cleopatra, his latest creation "Goldmember", penned
just about every phallic pun known to man into one script and
called in a few campy super celebrity cameos from the likes of
heavy guns Tom Cruise, Danny DeVito, Gwenyth
Paltrow, and snugalufagus Kevin Spacey.
The Hollywood Ivy League play the "Hollywood" versions
of Austin, Mini-me, Foxy and Dr. Evil in the Hollywood blockbuster
based on Austin's "real-life" exploits.
Hahahhahahhhaha.
Goldmember
is silly silly stuff that will have you bashing your head against
the chair in front of you all over again if yur a Austin fan -
which I firmly am. Yeah, parts are dull-o-rama and have you checking
for the exit signs, but for the most part it's just guffaws and
funny naughty daggling bits baby! Lighten up and head over to
the multiplex Myers has done it again as far as I'm concerned.
Enjoy.
Snack
Recommendation: A blitze and a bong….or maybe a smoke
and pancakes…or perhaps a cigar and waffle?
Official
Site
Oh yeah Brittany Spears is in it too....I almost forgot......
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