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 Heartbreakers
 
Starring:
Sigourney Weaver, Jennifer Love Hewitt , Ray Liotta, Jason Lee
, and Gene Hackman
Directed
by: David Mirkin
Sigourney
Weaver is a trustable actress. That is to say she doesn't usually
produce poop. With Heartbreakers she's picked a clever,
witty, well written, romantic farce to stretch her comic muscles.
There wasn't an alien in sight—honest!
Jennifer Love Hewitt isn't popular for some reason. I heard
the audience (mostly female) cat hissing how much they dislike
her. Why? She did a great job. So she weighs eighty pounds and
looks like every guy's quintessential do girl...Stop
stuffing your face with carbs, visit the gym, and and grow some
healthy self esteem. 
Ray
Liotta plays a wisecracking mafia-esque guy duped by the minky
mom and cunning daughter. There's a stretch. But, he's his usual
charming purrfect self so who's complaining? He knows what works
for him and waltzes through his role here.
Heartbreakers
story goes...Con team, mom Max and daughter Page, set up
a mark de Jour. A red-blooded male mark, with lots-o-dough and
an eye for the ladies. Then mommie
(Sigourney "Still Stunning" Weaver) quickly marries
him, explaining her religion doesn't permit premarital sex...(that
should be a clue to these mamalukes immediately something's
awry)...She acts exhausted on every (13 so far) wedding night
and passes out. This leaves her prey, er, new husband, all horned
up.
Enter
daughter (Love Hewitt), as fore mentioned manprey's current
secretary/maid/girl Friday, all tiny-dressed and minwaisted.
Seductively orating with him, till he pounces on her and is
immediately caught in the extramarital act, by the overtly
shocked new bride, right before actual penile penetration ...Cut
to: Lawyer's office, quick divorce and hefty monetary settlement
for the brief bride.
Mother
and daughter rendezvous locally and move on. Neat, clean, and
tax free...
Enter
a all-knowing IRS lady from hell (Anne "still married to
übercomic Mel Brooks, thank you" Bancroft). She's
on to them and advises the IRS "wants their cut."
The
team had been planning to part company. Now they will
have to pull one more con. They will have to head to the the
Mecca of Money, The Temple of Tact, The Well of Wealth, in other
words, Palm Beach Florida.
 They
stalk and study their next mark and move in for the hitch and
screw. One foot from the grave, tobacco tycoon, William Tensy
(Mr. Talent Gene Hackman) has been chosen. His orifices spew
fluids and ungodly sounds that would make the most hardened
con gal think twice about any physical contact what- so- ever.
But with a net worth at over 3 billion dollars, and that net
growing by the millions daily, so what if his gingivitis is
so bad you could almost smell it from your seat in theater two.
He's golden. What I like to refer to as mock-mansteak Shepherd's
Pie; Layers of wealth, that like brown gravy on the traditional
Shepherd's Pie dish hide the putrid unidentifiable organ meats
that lie below.
However
in a clever subplot, daughter Page has began a lone scam on
local bar owner Jack (Jason " no you can't have Kevin Smith's
phone number- piss off" Lee). Be careful young con in waiting
Page, your heart may ripped from it's comfy hardened shell,
careen out into the open and shine brightly on your sleeve...
Heartbreakers
is a fun time at the movies. A good one for date night.
It's light enough to entertain and funny enough to distract
for a while. Enjoy!
Snack
recommendation:
Steak Tar Tar and a pack of Lucky Strikes
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