|
 The
Italian Job
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Jason Startheam, Charlize Theron, Seth
Green, Mos Def, Edward Norton, and Donald Sutheland.
Directed by: F. Gary Gray
The
Italian Job is one of those purrfect summer films!
It's riddled with just the right mixture of beautiful movie stars,
power-packed adrenaline pumping action sequences and a smidge
of dastardly devil/bad guy gets-it-in-the-end mojo! It's a remake,
er, re-styling of the classic Italian masterpiece of the same
name, but it's so well done you'll forgive the deed...
A
group of happy heisters, lead by über safe cracker John Bridger
(Donald Sutherland) smoothly rip off a two-ton uncrackable safe
filled with oodles of gold bouillon - literally.
It
works like clockwork. But, when they rendezvous for the big divvy-up
things go wrong.
One
of the friends, Steve Frerezzi (dastardly devil/bad guy mustachioed
Edward Norton) decides he aint into sharing and after all what's
better then 2 million? Right. 20 million.
So
he dissposes of the whole handsome group into a handy freezing
river to the left - van and all - then scurries off with the loot
like the rat faced bastard he is.
Fast
forward a few months and it seems the group not only survived
rat-boy's little double-crossing murder spree but now they're
gung ho to recoup their losses, and of course kill him real good.
Each has their expertise; Charlie (Marky Wahlberg) is the diplomat,
Lyle (Seth Green) is the techno-brain, Left Ear (Mos Def) is an
exlosive expert and "Handsome Rob" (Jason Stratham)
drives like a banshee on crack.
They
need a safe cracker to get back the gold from Steve's state-of-the-art
anti-robbery safe thingy…they lost their guy (Sutherland)
in the robbery of the robbery by the bad robber. They contact
Stella Bridger (Charlize Theron) for the job. She's trustworthy,
and talented. And it was her father that got killed. She
eventually agrees, not for the money end of it -natch- but for
dear old daddy-o.
The
new team hatches an elaborate scheme involving those ahdorable
BMW Mini-Coopers, and lots of technical mumbo jumbo that actually
looks like it would work. We watch the caper of the centrury -
smoothly - unravel.
Kudos to the screenwriters Donna and Wayne Powers (the revampers)
and the production department for making this all so believable,
thusly making the film one helluva action film.
Mark
Wahlberg is his usual soft-spoken self…except he's been pumpin'
up a tad. He's starting to resemble the duck that got the Acme
Weight-On products of yesteryear. He's looking a little like a
wrestling doll is all I'm saying. Not that I'd throw him out of
my down duvetted color-coordinated boudoir mind you! Heaven's
no. — he's still quite delectable in an over stuffed
knockwurst way.
 It's
Hunkasnarus Rex Jason Stratham that had this manly-man viewing
addict in a girly-girl tissy. El Purro! Oh happy day when his
star moved from Guy Ritchie's area of the heavens to Hollywood's
fair (not fair but um bright?) sky...okay the films are
way more generic now, but LOOK at the man.He sacrifices
for our viewing pleasures. And this film's actually quite good.
We'll forget a few of his filmatic faux pas of poo out of pure
kindness...and lust.
For
those of you into the feline species….Charlize Theron is
stunning as always. She has a nice role in this too. The very
first scene is bizarre - she talks to her dad like it's her lover…I
was like, "Oh, no another old geezer with a Hollywood hotty
film." I was wrong and thankful.
Seth
Green is precious as the dorky gang member and is spot on as the
quirky gang member.
Get
out and see this! Just be sure there's no Mini-Cooper dealerships
between you and the cinema…or you may be trading in old Betsy
for the little darling!
Snack
Recommendation: Extra virgin olive oil drizzled over Stratham,
er, crustini…
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