Bridget Jones' Diary

Buy it!


Starring: Renée Zellweger, Colin Firth, Hugh Grant
Directed By: Sharon Maguire
Rated: R
Written By: Helen Fielding

Dear gawd is this adorable! I am a little annoyed that the ads and promos for BJD that make it sound like Zellweger's the size of an aged lower Himalayan work Yak in this. Excuse me? She looks normal and adorable. Fat? Okay fat is Rosie O'Donnell. Fat is ballpark plump Camryn Manhandlerheim. Renée is simply radiant here. Of course she did put on twenty hip hugging pounds for the role— which she insta-shed and is back to being her usual "American stickbug thin" self.

Then there's the terribly British delicious man buffet cast along side the weak bladdered cutey. We get both Hugh " Humma-Humma" Grant and Colin "Yumitini" Firth.

Firth is a bit of a generic British afternoon tea-Mayflowery-looking-stuffed-shirt-higher-than-thou-bow-to-me-wanker-type...till you get to know him. And Grant, well aware of his "scab tag," plays a raunchy-iously delectable bad boy. Hugh's a Uggeshall County style man-crumpet that's been toasted gently and drenched lightly in manmarlade; meant for eating slowly, indulging in each sinfully scrumptious morsel of man candy.

Where was I?

The authors of this decidedly feel good romantic girl movie, both novelist/best seller Helen Fielding and screen adapter/long time fave comedy scripter of large achievements, Richard Curtis, are to be applauded! Not just for the wonderful movie they've made, but particularly for the manly "fight" scene, between Hugh and Colin that put myself and the 98% female audience in a raised eye brow sweat and spinal spasms within the first thirty frames. So, from all we gals that actually own Fight Club and dig snorting-toilet seat up-farting-belching-phermone-spewing men, we salute you for making the two Brits a little less, err, woosey...

Anywho, Bridget Jones' Diary story goes like this...Bridget's (Renée Zellweger) a thirty something nobody with low self esteem and pretty pathetic going ons. Even her friends take great delight in having a bit of a laugh at her expense. It's really easy as she often says the wrong thing, fumbles about, and generally makes a horse's arse of herself.

She's a normal gal with normal feline desires. Enter her seductive sexual- harassment- case-waiting to-happen boss Hugh, er, Daniel Clever. He's smart looking, witty and raring to go-if you get my blatant sexual drift.

They end up together in a whirlwind of lust. But, Bridget- at the same time -natch- meets pompous childhood ex-neighbor Mark Darcy ( Colin - I'd even brave possible Mad Cow and Hoof and Mouth for this Brit - Firth). He has utterly no respect for the her and each time they meet he takes the liberty of assaulting her with his snide comments. Yet still, somehow, he finds her offbeat mannerisms repulsively attractive.

Love and fog fill the London air.

But, is Daniel all "posh voiced and of seedy character" the man for her? Or perhaps this snobby wanker Mark is the better mate? Bridget is right smack in man dilemma hell. You can't keep both ya know! Well, outside Utah and parts of western Nevada at least.

If no other lesson is taken away from BJD we are reminded to always wear the sexy underwear girls. The tummy tucker-asscrack riding-hip-hugging-all cotton -granny numbers will simply guarantee Mr. Right will not only show up primed and smelling of smoky cologne, he'll have been lost at sea for several weeks and in dire need of a bit of casual sex between consenting adults. Better safe with the leopard print thongs then shoving your bloomers in the magazine rack when he's not looking...trust me.

This is one great heart felt movie folks. Granted it is really "for the girls." But, if you have one of those rare accommodating fellows in your life, take him.

Bridget Jones' Diary is very romantic, often borderline farcical and very well put together by an ensemble cast whos face's are brilliantly familiar to those in love with LionHeart imports run on PBS and this little star that shines with effervescence, Renée Zellweger.

Snack recommendation: Blue soup with spring leeks, mish mosh and cattleberry gravy.