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Jurassic Park III
(for what it is)

Same old song and dance…But, that's a good thing! If you're a Jurassic Park enthusiast, like myself. JP3 has managed to still keep you in awe. The dinosaurs move about with the same fantastic, magical realism that hooked us in JP1 and even JP2/LW. Sure, the story is wafer thin; it's part three for criminey sakes. But where else you gonna watch a Tyrannosaur rex battle a Somethingamabobersaur?

They've brought back Sam Neill (who'll always be the sexy Damien Thorn to me) as the ever apprehensive Doctor Grant. He's so believable as the dino expert it reminds you how annoying Mr. Aways Myself, Jeff Goldblum actually was in JPdos/LW …Yech.

And don't worry gals; they replaced cutely Vince Vaughn's character Nicky (JP2/LW) with an equally attractive new-on-the-scene-wrap-him-up- in-Dockers-and-flannel-I'll-take-him mansteak Alessandro Nivola playing paleontologist, Billy.

Tea' Leoni-maroni is our feline entry for the show. She's here being chased, chomped on, and threatened with all kinds of carnivorous behavior, by all kinds of extinct creatures. She's kind of mix-matched with her on screen husband played by über talent Indy Film star William H. Macy!Yep, that W.H. Good for him. He's busted out of Fargo and traded his parka and snow drifts for Bermuda shorts and Costa Rican coastlines. He was his usual perfectly unacting styled actor self. A nerd lost in a park lost in time

The story goes…Seems there's a second island where the madman behind the last couple of DNA-testing-gone-bad infusions, JP1/JP2, John Alfred Hammond (John Attenborough) secretly (-even more secretly than the last secret island-) bred captive (an oxymoron if ever…) dinosaurs.

But on Fantasy Island 2 there is no luxury hotel and welcoming Pina Colada clad Polenisians. NO! There are about seventeen species of Dinos and a whole gaggle of Pterodactyls. They run the place and don't take kindly to human folk intruding on their turf. That and humans go so well with fern greens braised in a delicate swamp water puree'.

The Kirby's (Tea' and W.H) have hoodwinked Dr. Grant (Sammy) and his associate Billy (Alessandro) to this land of the lost, the "other" island (suspiciously Kaua'i looking-again), by bribing him with a huge check for his nearly bankrupt research. Their motive is pure though it's not dino eggs or Brontosaur's skins for elegant/illegal shoes and Gucci bags. The Kirby's son has accidentally been stranded on the jurassic infested island and they want him back…though it's been eight weeks since anyone's heard from the lad…. Can you say Rapture din-din?

But, this is a movie and of course the kid's alive. See, he's read all the dinosaur books by Dr. Grant as well as the ones by Dr. Malcolm-that's convenient huh? They find him, and try to just avoid becoming a midnight snack for a T-rex while heading towards the coast for a presumed rescue squad to be awaiting them.

That's it. But, it's not the story we're here to see is it? It's people being attacked by dinosaurs that are so well animated I omagine this his how these glorious creatures actually were! Hey it's as close to their world as we could ever hope to get--at this point. And for all the adult seven year olds in the packed audience, that was more than worth the price of admission. It's rehashed been-there-done-that stuff but it's still wicked cool!

You know you're going if you remotely enjoyed the original, or even the Lost World. True there's no Pete Postelwaite, or Vinnie, or even Julianne Moore but Laura Dern steps in and Sam's back with a pretty good mix of new blood…

Snack Recommendation: Nestle Crunch bars and Rapture Egg Omlettes

Starring: Sam Neill, W.H. Macy, Tea' Leoni, Allesandro Nivola and Trevor Morgan

Directed By:
Joe Johnston


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