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Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

Starring: (in alphabetical order) Sean Astin, Cate Blanchett, Orlando Bloom, Billy Boyd, Brad Dourif, Bernard Hill, Christopher Lee, Ian McKellen, Dominic Monaghan, Viggo Mortensen, Miranda Otto, John Rhys-Davies, Andy Serkis, Liv Tyler, Karl Urban, Hugo Weaving, David Wenham, and Elijah Wood.
Directed by: Peter Jackson
Rated PG-13

 

Bluntly speaking? Lord of the Rings,The Two Towers may be the finest example of filmmaking that ever hit the big screen. It's a delightful gift to the world ! The story is fascinating (and at times will require Cliff Notes for some - yes me - to keep up!), the characters larger than life (as film stars should be) and the effects transport you, beguile you and mesmerize you like you're child again. This is entertainment in its purest most delightful form.

We follow the continuing tale of the young hero hobbit Mr. Frodo (adorable petite filet of man Elijah Wood) and his friend Samwise (Sean Astin) as they continue on to return the evil "ring" to its demise. They've been attacked but have overpowered a creepy little salamander of a man named Gollum (Andy Serkis). He's hell bent on getting the ring from Frodo but has promised to guide them to the Black Gates of Mordor if they will release him. Never has a CGI image been quite so three-dimensional. This thing oozes soul.

Speaking of souls, Frodo and Sam are still sick over the loss of Gandolf The Gray (Sir Ian "Boom-Boom" McKellen) while he was battling with the Balrog. They replay the battle that tookthe fine wizard's and we get all choked up on cue.

But old wizards don't die …like the mighty Phoenix they rise with some small changes and viola we have Gandolf The White.

Gandolf meets up with Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen), the Elf archer Legolas (Orlando Bloom) and Gimli the Dwarf (John Rhys-Davies) who are trying to track down the missing hobbits from book one. The seasons seem to be coming to an end in middle Earth and evil, in the form of Saruman the White (Christopher Lee) whose soul is black! This monger of hate may just rule this world yet. His army of evildoers has been birthed from the muck of his caves and they are ready to attack and eliminate man.

Will the Elves rejoin man as they once did before recorded time and save middle Earth? You'll just have to go and see.

All the characters are back as well as a few additional delights like Gollum, Wormstongue (Brad Dourif) the beautiful Eowyn (Miranda Otto), and Treebeard - a walking talking philosophizing tree! The folks who designed LOR - believe it or not- have topped themselves with this episode. And how clever the filmmakers were to film the three films at the same time. This way they have not missed a costume detail, an actor's face has not morphed with the passing of years 'tween films, and it's fairly easy to recall the last film…. so you can at least follow along. My companion - a diehard LOR fan just rolled his eyes when I asked some silly questions about bands of tribes, and types of elves…

All I know is this a man fest extravaganza! The film is riddled with gorgeous manly men in Renaissance faire gear! Me say yum. A regular manly man smorgasbord! There's at least a trillion men wandering around in that sexy gruffy medieval look....muscles bulging, brow pursed. The cutest is Viggo Mortensen - natch. Jeeze Loiuse is this guy a Hottie McHottsterini. He's like a fresh brewed pot of mocha flavored joe steaming in the pot-o-love in my heart! Of course Elf-boy Orlando Bloom is devilishly delectable too.

The depiction of Middle Earth as Tolkien explained are remarkable. Artists poured themselves into their work and it shows. The film is beautiful and completely awe inspiring. Be warned ye of faint heart. This installment of much darker than the first. There are some scenes that had even a fearless filly like me squirmy and reaching for the BRMPB (BluntReview.com Movie Puke Bag). You would be well informed to avoid letting the wee ones into this show. There's a scene in the Bog Of The Dead that still has me avoiding a drawn bath! But the happy part is J.R. R. Tolkien fans should not be disappointed in the least. They should thank the heavens above Peter Jackson made this film and not…well… someone else (wink-wink). I wish they sold stock in this franchise...

Enjoy.

Snack Recommendation:
Rabbit - cooked please, in a nice Samwise stew.

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