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 One
Night at McCool's
Starring:
Liv Tyler, Matt Dillon, John Goodman, Paul Reiser, Andrew Clay,
Michael Douglas, Richard Jenkins.
Directed
by: Harald Zwart
Writing
credits: Stan Seidel
This
is a clever movie. I still don't think Liv Tyler's all that strong
an actress. I mean for as pretty as she is the chickbabe's just
blah. But, to be fair she needed to be really talented
to work in this. I mean she's got some heavy hitters beside her.
Namely, John Goodman, a natural fluent actor, super smooth talent
Matt Dillon and Paul Reiser. These guys' just wont let the movie
slip into 'Luuded Livland.
ONAM's
story goes...Three men have had the good fortune to meet Jewel
(Liv Tyler) one fate- filled night at McCool's; a sleazy neighborhood
bar.
Bartender
Randy (Matt "simply yummy" Dillon") happens upon
the lovely young thing just as she's been accosted by a big bad
man. Luckily for her Randy rescues her and takes her home...in
more ways than one.
Suddenly
Randy finds himself in a bad situation. Seems the big bad man
from earlier in the evening is really Jewel's old man, Utah (Andrew
Dice Clay). Yeah, her boyfriend. Her current supplier of
man-love.The two of them are artists of the theatrical scam, and
poor naive Randy's right smack in the middle of their second act.
They bring Randy back to McCool's to rob him and...oops-a-daisie
Utah gets killed!
Not
to worry, Jewel and Randy work that out as love and lust find
there way through, and they begin their lives as a happy-go-lucky
dysfunctional couple.
 Enter
man two, Detective Dehling (John Goodman). He's investigating
the death of the Utah in the bar earlier in the evening. As fast
as you can say "boy is that Matt Dillon cute" the lonely
detective is bitten right in the arse by a rabid smitt bug. To
the big goon detective, Jewel is the epitome of innocence. In
fact he's convinced Randy is the purest of evil and needs to locked
up; permanently out of the lily white gal's life. This newly found
desire to be with Jewel brings on hilarious results.
Enter
man three. Randy's suburban snake cousin Carl (Paul- I'm mad
about him-Reiser). Carl's in dire need of affection. Young underdressed-pouty-lipped-red-
haired, womanly affection. He's stuck in middle-class America
with two kids and a brandname perfectly highlighted wife. He
is in such bad mid-life crisis shape, he sports pink sweaters
in public! So, having spotted Jewel back at McCool's and now
finding his cousin Randy's actually seeing the object of his
affection he pursues her via hot dogs and innuendoes. Eventually
he finds a trade of his legal services for a bit of S&M
play-offs will do the trick with Jewel. Carl too falls in amore
with Jewel.
Young
seductress, Jewel doesn't mind. She's well aware of her affect
on the male libido and she's working the three of them like
an oil rig foreman. Mean and rough.
It's
not personal. Jewel just wants some of the finer things in life...fine
upholstery, a home entertainment system w/dvd, plush wall -to-wall
carpet and, of course, a working water fountain in her livingroom.
If she's got to murder, steal and connive to get it, all the better.
Makes her feel like she's earned it. Ya know?
 But,
there's a fourth man interested in Jewel. He's been hired by one
of the guys to bump her off. Enter the road-kill-wig-sporting
tacky-polyester-wearing hitman (Michael "handsome in real
life" Douglas). He's a creepy Tarantino like character, oblivious
to her charms...dead set on completing his job.
McCool's
is one wild place. A place where everyone knows your name, and
their glad you came...wait that's Cheers. Right. McCool's is
dump filled with scary folks and a cute bartender who, by a
twist of planned fate, meet one dark evening with life altering
results for all involved.
Speaking
of the cute bartender...folks, when exactly did Matt Dillon get
so damn handsome? I've always loved anything he's in ( please
find Albino Alligator and enjoy). However, I wish he'd
do a bit more. 'Cause, in ONAM he is shirtless for
the first section of the film and quite frankly is well on his
way to becoming a Blunt obsession like those single packets of
Frito's brand corn chips. I get him in small servings, filled
with a satisfying high calorie richness and leaves one filled
with a bad girl desire to live da vida loca and consume even more...
ONAM is well worth the ticket fee.Quite a few hoots and
gaffaws keep the story moving. Matt does a great job per usual,
Douglas, Goodman and Reiser are a riot. Liv's better, but,
she's unlikely to ever be able to act her way out of a wet paper
bag. She was pure plastic in Armageddon and she's not a
strong a contender here either.
Snack Recommendation: Pasta with onions and tomatoes, and
beer.
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