The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc

Joan of Arc was kind of a rebellious teen. What with her cross dressing and desire to go to war...She finally had to follow her dream of carnage for the good of France. This original 'SpiceGirl' was no wimp! No siree Bob.She was a kickbutt chick babe leading her army to victory because God personally told her that was what she was put here for. Did I mention most thought her insane?

There has been an odd Hollywood rebirth in Joan of late. Not as prolific as their love affair with the public domain works of Willie Shakespeare, but in a more epic story respectable way. Do you know Joanie? Besides her being the poor girl they burned to death at a town gathering I mean? Considered a legend even back in her hey day, 1429. She really did try to save France. See women use to be held down, not edcucated,and get this...kept pregnant in the kitchen. I know, but it's the truth...swear. I think I'd just undo myself if I woke up without airconditioning, cable, deodorant, or all our rights...poor creatures.

Milla Jovovich, is so-so in her Joan. An okay actress in what may be her role of a lifetime. Even Jovovich can't stop us fromfeeling Joan's anguish and frustration at not being, at first, taken seriously as a French warrior. Of course there was all that hearing the voice of God and all. Not cool to go telling simple devil fearing folk of the notoriously close minded medieval times you chat on a regular basis, heck any basis at all, with the All Mighty. No. She really should have just left that part out of all her grand speeches. But, no. Little Ms. Honesty had to blurt out what she revered as truth. I guess she figured people would believe her...Tah, little white lies...little white lies.I keep telling people their the backbone of the world as we know it .

Director Luc Benson, who's Fifth Element also focused on a super woman of sorts, got an A plus cast to assist him it his dark realistic story. (PS Milla just so happens to be the guy's ex-wife...Hmm) Oh, sure Messenger SJA is obvious blockbuster style. Can you make anymore artsy Joan films? Will people show up? The war and gore shots are top-notch special effects.

Did you know the French have their mini-dinkie-ball-bag-bikini-underwear in a bunch over this? Can't we just see a movie enjoy the cast and world they create, leave, maybe get an ice cream, walk the dogs? No, they all want -need- controversy. Frenchman himself, Besson's under attack 'cause the French are all wigged out he made Joan in English. Yeah, him and like fifty before him. Please. Do you hear the Belgians bitching cause the French got the world-calling fries "french-fries?" I rest my case.

Dustin 'Durante' Hoffman's in this. I love that guy. The Graduate is still one of my all time faves. You can usually trust him. One word for you...'Tootsie' Huh? Who else could have pulled that off? Although I would have sold a limb to see Christopher Walken in the role. Tee hee. Gosh, that's a funny image...no?

Faye 'a real cat woman' Dunnaway, who is such a beautiful actress. Man may we all look like that broadski as time skipperoos into the hereafter. I happen to be able to guess-ta-mate her age and she is holding up quite nice. I bet she's with some young stud. She's just so cool. Rent Albino Alligator if you haven't seen it. She's exceptional in that as well.

Johnny Malkovich also has a powerful part here, Charles VII. He really looks the part. He's strangely out of place in modern times. Somehow he appears like he uses a personal time machine to be 'among us.' Not to mention he says he lives in France...Somewhere in France. Yeah, like the CONEHEADS supposedly did. See somethings fishy in..Den..France.You know I heard he recently gave up his puppeting. Decided acting was more his bag.

See this if you're into historic movies. I am addicted to the History Channel so I may have been biased. But, this is an eyeful, a cinematic treat, if at times a bit bloated.

Snack Recommendation: Room temp Brie and peasant bread smuggled in to 'set the mood'

Strarring: Milla Jovovich. John Malkovich, Faye Dunneway, and Dustin Hoffman

Directed by: Luc Besson