The Mummy

Written and directed by:  Stephen Sommers
Starring: Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo and Kevin O'Connor
Rated: PG-13

The Mummy was awesome! I laughed and shook with terror (--well, okay I am a bit of a big woosey-chick). It's reminiscent of those great campy Sinbad movies of our childhood with a hell of a lot better special effects!

Rick O'Connell (Brendan "humina-humina" Fraser) is soooo cute! Granted, you dress up nearly any guy in in those Ralph (Rafe) Lauren style khaki's and I'd almost be willing to camp in the steamy desert in a tent made for only two.

What is it about that 1930's "explorer look" that makes a guy appear like such a stud? Maybe it's the way those knickers fit snugly around the gluteus maximus area, or perhaps it's the way those high leather boots they always wear bring back memories of my S&M days...er...um...sorry! Tangent!

Brendan has become the Clark Gable of our generation (with smaller ears) ya know. Handsome, with an unshakable arrogance mixed with just enough goofiness to keep him humble. His one liners were delivered to perfection. Brendan would have made a great Indiana Jones instead of that mummified Hans Solo guy. Howevah, that was decades ago, Brendan woulda been chasing those mean Nazis in diapers. Not the Nazis wearing diapers, mind you, but Brendan 'cause he woulda been so young...never mind!

The story goes, an ultra-evil Egyptian priest, Prince Imhotep (Arnold Vasloo, looking more like a WWF wrestler than a prince) has forsaken his Pharaoh by fooling around with the Pharaoh's woman. He is caught and given a fate worse than death - no, not tickets to a Celine Dion concert - but undeath.

Kinda like Keith Richards, only without the private jets, limos and dialysis machine. This guy was buried beneath a huge statue with several thousand flesh eating beetles to share time with. However, he is awakened by a troupe of would-be treasure hunters, and he's not a very forgiving guy! Who can blame him? I don't care what country you're from --bugs is bugs -- and if someone buries you alive with them, well, it's okay to hold a grudge (even for thousands of years). Now awakened, the dead guy will have his day! Spreading the wrath of ten or so Biblical plagues of Egypt upon the world. Yadda yadda, your typical hostile mummy.

When you get right down to it, this is actually a twisted love story. Mummy-man only got himself into this hideous mess because he loved the Pharaoh's woman. He was thinking with his pee-pee and not with his head. (Like that's a first.) She was really pretty, though. A little too much makeup, but comely.

The special effects are mind boggling! Up there with the Matrix. ILM special effects company is the genius behind this (and that new Star Trek...er..Star Wars movie next week). Smooth and natural looking!

This ain't your mommy's Mummy movie! It's nice to sit back and be transported to a world of make believe once in a while. The Mummy did just that.This is not a serious FILM; it is a movie and a darned good one at that. Walk like an Egyptian and go see it. Yah-la!

Snack recommendation: Baba Gannoush and Lavosh