The Patriot

I almost forgot about Mel Gibson. How about you? The whole country seems to have Aussie fever. What with the Olympics and that Crowe fellow sexing up the screen. Mel's been on the mind's back burner. Well, he's back inwhat I like to call Braveheart Part 2 - America.

America fought many bloody battles to call herself the United States. None as revolutionary as the Revolution!

Our forefathers wanted our freedom so bad they were willing to die for it. Now, I fear modern America'd just give in, pay the motherland's outrageous tax requests, happily give over our best crops, throw in Madonna, then settle back in to the Internet for comfort.

Not back then, by George! And not Benjamin and Gabriel Martin. Our favorite patriots in this very patriotic movie -— An all-American Australian cast!

Of course, patriot Benjamin (Mel - five feet of pure Aussie Angus meat-Gibson) Martin was actually a pacifist. That's like a Deadhead circa 1775. Benji wanted nothing to do with this little revolution thingy on everybody's tongues. He's no commie - er, redcoat - he's just had enough of
war, wants to give peace a chance and stay with his loving (huge) family.

That all changes. Obviously. Now he's ready for blood. British blood that is!

His son, Gabrielle (Heath - Australian natch - Ledger) joined the cause against his father's wishes.

Then, an awful turn of events (aka plot direction) makes them brothers in arms. What they learn together while fighting for Lady Liberty will make
them stronger men and better husbands (or vice/versa). Please! But, the fight scenes rule!

The Patriot tries real hard to stay away from the catatonic, drool-inducing lectures you received in American history class. It does a bang up job during the battle scenes. It should. Heck, Patriot's director, Roland Emmerich, brought us Independence Day and Godzilla (the new one). Here, Emmerich kicks some Redcoat ass with his musket boys of summer.

The movie does get a tad wearisome during the formula 101 father and son angst scenes. But, just as the Sandman sneaks over to tuck you in...BAM! Another Gladiator-esque battle scene or riveting historical event is volleyed your way.

Mel Gibson talks low, nearly inaudibly in some parts. Terribly annoying. A new trend? Hope not. His face is, as always, dramatically (often amusingly) descriptive. He's very much a hero here, and does an admirable job, all in all.

Young beefcake in training Heath Ledger actually looks like grandpa Gibson. He is a little outback hotty, he is. What's in the water over there? Note to self: Plan vacation in outback with Crocodile Hunter certified man guide.

British actress Joely Richardson plays come-hither-no-yes-no Charlotte Selton. This young lady has theatrical nobility in her blood. She's Vanessa Redgrave's daughter. Of course! You thought she looked familiar, right?

By a show of hands, does anybody else find it humorous that they cast nearly all non-patriots in this film? Tee-hee. The Australians are coming!
The Australians are coming!

This movie has perfect ('magine that?) timing with the 4th around the corner! Take a few patriotic HOURS (without the winecoolers, jello shots,
nipple flags or the bottle rockets) and remember what a lot of young brave men and women really did for us a long, long time ago. Sniff.

Snack Recommendation: Red , white and blue snow cones from concession, with an all-American meat style hot dog..

Starring: Mel Gibson, Mel Gibson Jr. (Heath Ledger), Joely Richardson, Tcheky Karyo, Lisa Brenner, Chris Cooper (whacko-in American Beauty) and Tom Wilkinson

Directed by: Roland "that blowed up real good" Emmerich

Official Patriot Site


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