The
Patriot
I
almost forgot about Mel Gibson. How about you? The whole country
seems to have Aussie fever. What with the Olympics and that Crowe
fellow sexing up the screen. Mel's been on the mind's back burner.
Well, he's back inwhat I like to call Braveheart Part 2 - America.
America
fought many bloody battles to call herself the United States. None
as revolutionary as the Revolution!
Our
forefathers wanted our freedom so bad they were willing to die for
it. Now, I fear modern America'd just give in, pay the motherland's
outrageous tax requests, happily give over our best crops, throw
in Madonna, then settle back in to the Internet for comfort.
Not
back then, by George! And not Benjamin and Gabriel Martin. Our favorite
patriots in this very patriotic movie -— An all-American Australian
cast!
Of
course, patriot Benjamin (Mel - five feet of pure Aussie Angus meat-Gibson)
Martin was actually a pacifist. That's like a Deadhead circa 1775.
Benji wanted nothing to do with this little revolution thingy on
everybody's tongues. He's no commie - er, redcoat - he's just had
enough of
war, wants to give peace a chance and stay with his loving (huge)
family.
That
all changes. Obviously. Now he's ready for blood. British blood
that is!
His
son, Gabrielle (Heath - Australian natch - Ledger) joined the cause
against his father's wishes.
Then,
an awful turn of events (aka plot direction) makes them brothers
in arms. What they learn together while fighting for Lady Liberty
will make
them stronger men and better husbands (or vice/versa). Please! But,
the fight scenes rule!
The
Patriot tries real hard to stay away from the catatonic, drool-inducing
lectures you received in American history class. It does a bang
up job during the battle scenes. It should. Heck, Patriot's
director, Roland Emmerich, brought us Independence Day and
Godzilla (the new one). Here, Emmerich kicks some Redcoat
ass with his musket boys of summer.
The
movie does get a tad wearisome during the formula 101 father and
son angst scenes. But, just as the Sandman sneaks over to tuck you
in...BAM! Another Gladiator-esque
battle scene or riveting historical event is volleyed your way.
Mel
Gibson talks low, nearly inaudibly in some parts. Terribly annoying.
A new trend? Hope not. His face is, as always, dramatically (often
amusingly) descriptive. He's very much a hero here, and does an
admirable job, all in all.
Young
beefcake in training Heath Ledger actually looks like grandpa Gibson.
He is a little outback hotty, he is. What's in the water over there?
Note to self: Plan vacation in outback with Crocodile Hunter certified
man guide.
British
actress Joely Richardson plays come-hither-no-yes-no Charlotte Selton.
This young 
lady
has theatrical nobility in her blood. She's Vanessa Redgrave's daughter.
Of course! You thought she looked familiar, right?
By
a show of hands, does anybody else find it humorous that they cast
nearly all non-patriots in this film? Tee-hee. The Australians are
coming!
The Australians are coming!
This
movie has perfect ('magine that?) timing with the 4th around the
corner! Take a few patriotic HOURS (without the winecoolers, jello
shots,
nipple flags or the bottle rockets) and remember what a lot of young
brave men and women really did for us a long, long time ago. Sniff.
Snack
Recommendation: Red , white and blue snow cones from concession,
with an all-American meat style hot dog..
Starring:
Mel Gibson, Mel Gibson Jr. (Heath Ledger), Joely Richardson, Tcheky
Karyo, Lisa Brenner, Chris Cooper (whacko-in American Beauty) and
Tom Wilkinson
Directed
by: Roland "that blowed up real good" Emmerich
Official
Patriot Site
