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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Starring Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Kiera Knightley, Bill Nighy, Stellan Skarsgard, Jonathan Pryce, Mackenzie Crook , Lee Arenberg etc. etc.
Directed by: Gore Verbinski
Music by : Hans Zimmerman.

Written by: Ted Elliot, and Terry Rossio

Ye be Buyin' it Now

Johnny Depp Interview

Watch Premiere of the 1st PotC - second generation so it's not perfect quality
Read Potc: Curse of the black Pearl Review
BUY Specially priced DVD - PotC: Curse of the Black Pearl


Two glorious discs of mayhem and merriment await ye! If your order earlier they have the special "3 -D cover slip" available. But, even if you delay and be missing the cool edition...they have oodles of extras - five hours worth - waiting for you.

Some of the highlights include; Bruckheimer's photo album, a behind-the-scenes on the Kraken and a look at the development of Johnny Depp's Jack Sparrow. It reminds you, this guy is a genius - both of them. And the writers Rossio and Elliot do the audio commentary. I think this was wise. Last time, with Pirates rambled on without the tidbit 'o glee we film nuts have come to expect. Now , if you love the film, you hear how things went,, and what some less obvious scenes really meant. Plus legendary costume designer Penny Rose talks about the minutia of wardrobe - and it's actually fascinating. And, the whole crew is open about just how surprised all were at the first film's success. Silly Disney, "Pirates are for Everyone."

They dared to ad a red carpet segment. But, they should have called me. I didn't know an event that big and bedazzled could come across as so flat. Holy criminey. And that's NOT sour grapes. It's great that they actually listened to me when I stalked, er, requested, Bruckheimer's company use red carpet footage. But, the missed the boat - it's lame and dull (so there).

After you buy the dvd and enjoy all the other extras. Come back to head over to YouTube ( ) and see if I lie. Film Review Below.

# Commentary by: Screenwriters Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio Dolby Digital 2.0
# Commentary by screenwriters Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio
# Bloopers of the Caribbean
# Charting the Return: A preproduction diary
# According to Plan: hour-long production documentary
# Captain Jack: From Head to Toe
# Mastering the Blade
# Meet Davy Jones: Anatomy of a Legend
# Creating the Kraken
# Dead Men Tell New Tales: Re-Imagineering the Attraction
# Fly on the Set: The Bone Cage
# Jerry Bruckheimer: A Producer's Photo Diary
# Pirates on Main Street: The Dead Man's Chest Premiere
# Easter Eggs


Bluntly speaking? Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is one of the greatest swashbuckling soirees ever made. To bold a statement Flynn fans? Get your own review! PotC:DMC is a smorgasbord of frolicking fun, and a visual cornucopia to behold.

Oh sure, I'm biased, holy criminey you've got Johnny Depp all decked out in pirate gear, sporting a libertine-like beard and looking all circa 1971 Keith Richards'd up - that alone gets a few stars, based upon the pleasure he supplies to the fickle fountain of feline fantasies. Added to the overload of ocular enjoyment, you’ve got that treasure chest of pure man yum, Orlando Bloom being all noble and chivalrous running about the Caribbean in perpetually damp (body clinging) clothes. Then, for you chickbabe lovin’ sorts among ye, there’s Keira Knightley, a.k.a. "The Stunner," back as the damsel who's hardly in distress - kickin' some pirate booty.

Story goes... dear Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) is left at the altar in a rainstorm -- alone. Where is her dashing beau you beg? Just as we start to get really confused, viola the missing Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) shows up with a posse of perturbed police, who have him shackled head-to-toe.

Something's amiss.

Apparently, there's a new ominous regime on Ms. Swann's little presently pirate-free island paradise. They are the guys working for the East India Trading Company, and they're led by Lord Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander). And, this Lord Cutler runs his trading company like a Delancy Street shake-down; intimidation and strong arming with a bit of bullying for good measure. The fine Lord also has a big huge chip on his shoulder (the size of a Hummer) that involves Captain Jack Sparrow.

Lord Cutler figures by blackmailing Will Turner into telling him where Jack sparrow has fled to, he will finally have his revenge on the sway-step pirate -- who has obviously put a big spiney flying bug very firmly up this fella's arse. Aargh.

Meanwhile, in a darker part of the Caribbean… Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) has his own problems relating to the comfort of one’s arse. The fair Capt’ has gone and got himself tangled up in a web of a West of Zanzibarish voodoo tribesmen, who have decided the evening’s menu includes roast butt of Sparrow.

But, by the time Will Turner catches up to Sparrow, Jack has conjured up his famous charm (or perhaps, just his sealubber's luck), and managed to convince an entire tribe of cannibals that he's a living god in the form of man. The problem is this particular tribe prefers to celebrate their deities by dining on them. Perhaps the two are to become literal mankabobs.

But faster than you can say, "Now that is a really cool scene," the two McHotties of the seven seas are framed upon the screen together, and we all set off in our latest venture.

Ms. Swann is shortly to join them fear not.

If you recall from the first Sparrow saga, he’s left a smattering enemies in his sandstorm, ‘tween his snagging a few doubloons of cursed of Mayan gold, and bamboozling Capt' Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush). But, dear Jack also apparently made a deal with the devil of the sea, one Davy Jones (Bill Nighy). Twas a long time ago in a prequel we've yet to be privy to. And now scurvy Davy Jones is here to collect Jack's wary soul... aargh.

Enter our new villain de Jour, Davy Jones. DMC intertwines the legends of the infamous Flying Dutchman with Davy Jones' Locker, and folds in a giant mythical squid called the kraken. Aargh. Tis a squid sixty feet tall, and thirty wide, that swallows whole ships as an appetizer, and spits out the knarly planks like troublesome bits of a hangnail - aargh.

There’s also a bit of snogging action tween Capt’ Jack and a certain filly feline; it’d be a bit of Swann for the Sparrow... but I shant say more... aargh.

Basically, DMC is a big old visual paella of summer blockbuster fun and gloriously entertaining. And, that is in no short part due to Johnny Depp, as Captain Jack Sparrow. Johnny Depp is a bona fide international superstar. Pirates of the Caribbean brought the illustrious thespian extraordinaire a world audience; those in the know, already knew. Whether Johnny's sporting scissor-like appendages or mixing up a vat of chocolates, or tripping the light fantastic with a sweating sidekick, he’s able to infuse bigger than life characters with a combination of actor’s intuition, raw talent, and a joy for the job that reads through to his audience. And to boot, he's edibly handsome in a fresh -- out -- of -- the -- oven -- drizzled -- with -- full -- fat -- heavy -- cream -- and -- a -- smear -- of -- butter blueberry muffin delectable sort of way. Savvy?

And while were on delectable dudes... Orlando Bloom just gets better looking with every sword he picks up. Rrrrrrrrrr. He doesn’t need to even act, he’s so beautiful. He does act - and well - of course; especially as Will. But, truly he needn't bother, as one is so struck by his charms, you hardly hear what he's saying anyway...

Speaking of beautiful, Keira Knightley, who has permanently proven herself to be one tough chickbabe that can absolutely hold her own with any of the biggest and baddest boys of film, is back as Ms. Swann, giving little girls at tangible truth that beauty doesn't have to be synonymous with wimpy. Hurrah!

Folks, DMC is no hokey hootenanny of rubber sea monsters and spray-painted one eye patched Pirates wielding plastic swords with a Sinbadian budget. No siree Bob. Producer Jerry Bruckheimer and his well-harvested motley crew of minions in front and behind the show, have topped themselves visually, and excitement-wise in this, the second installment of the trilogy. Granted, there is a tad too much swashbuckling thrown in, but that's probably to get guys to go to the theater with their Depp-n-Bloom blinded babes. Yet, silly extended sword play included, the two-hour plus movie flies by.

What are you still doing here mateys, ships ahoy! Aargh – aargh.

Warnin' ye breeders: Wee ones may be a tinge green with fear from the Flying Dutchman and his snarly treacherous scallywaggin' crew...

Snack recommendation: Fried calamari, black ink infused linguine tossed with prawns and mussels, with a side of Sepia Amb Trempo or Jamaician-style conch salad

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