Jane, John Travolta, Laura Harring.John Pinette, Rebecca Romijn
Stamos, and Ben Foster
Directed by:Jonathon Hensleigh
Rated: R (for pervasive violence)
dichotomy of The Punisher's star's (Thomas Jane's) beauty vs.
the pulpy tableau-esque backdrops he's cast upon, has created
a gritty ballet of violence that proudly embraces its comic book
roots. It's called "The Punisher" remember? So don't
expect fluffy bunnies or Mensa dialog. No. You're getting
mini-waisted big breasted chickbabes, fast cars that go vroom
vroom, tons of guns that go boom boom, and a major beefcake square-jawed
anti-hero with nuthin' to lose that's gonna do some mega-watted
woop-assin,' vigilante style!
our current 1st introduction to The Punisher you'll find a kind
of Gotham-styled Walking Tall (an urban-hued Deathwish
if you will), welded to a rich chromium frame of comic book
anti-heroes and logic. The Punisher is an unapologetic franchise
birthing from a franchise and director Jonathon Hensleigh nailed
the genre from the very first frame.
learn exactly what it takes for a law abiding, mild mannered,
government agent named Frank Castle (Thomas Jane) to become an
ultra-revengeasarous killing machine. Here it takes a smirking
sociopath disguised as a successful entrepreneur, call him Mr.
Saint (John Travolta). This evil monster in Armani murdered Frank's
entire family - literally.
would make anyone a tad mental-mad
understandably. And Frank,
having survived - barely - from Mr. Saint's henchmen's horrific
assault, resurrects himself, determined to punish this rat-bastard
about it. It's not Oscar© material
kids. But, what makes The Punisher enjoyable, aside from its gloriously
buff and utterly mesmerizing manly-man lead Thomas Jane, is its
commitment to non-politically correct pitch-black humor and comicbook-ish
Saturday Night Live (when Meyers was there
) overtly dramatic
poses that reek of community theateresque drama.
let's talk about what kept this liberal pacifistic comic
book illiterate actually interested in a beat-'em-to-a-bloody-pulp
tale like this
the answer is simple. It was this incredible
version of a male specimen named Thomas Jane. Oh sure the guy
but its his nonverbal pout, menacing stare, and the
thirty-six packed bod that kept this feline purring whilst the
bad guys got deadened real good. I wasn't aware a man's body could
look that good
(she said wiping the sweat from her brow in
flashback of one of the film's billion shirtless scenes - scenes
no doubt ordered by the film's female producer Gale Anne Hurd).
This guy couldn't keep his shirt on
but get images of say
Jack Black's rotund beer-formed belly right outta ya head! This
Thomas fella makes yummitini George Clooney look like a Twinkie
slurping couch potato folks. Its sexist manipulation reversal
at its finest and Ms. Hurd I for one salute you!
of Hostess brand snack indulging
Grease 3 and I'll Sock You " Travolta is back as the evil
entrepreneur extraordinaire Mr. Saint
. its this "bad
guy" character Johnny's been dishing out for the past five
films. But, he does smirking uppity Crispin Glover hairdo-d villain
so very well he fit. Guess I kinda adore Johnnie no-matter what
the big palooka does, see.
buck up boys
they give you that mega-beauty Laura Harring
in form fitting Tango wear cooing cheesy porno-like dialog and
Rebecca Romijn Stamos in itty-bitty sundresses - so it's fair.
believe me, this film earns its R rating; a rating that includes
the tell-tale phrase "for pervasive brutal violence."
Hehe. The studio did not wimp out here boys and girls. It's as
gory as the original comic instructed apparently - and card-carrying
Punisher fans still in a snit over Dolph's Punisher filmatic fiasco
of 1989, should have broad defiant smiles announcing their inner
glee with this relentless version.
recommendation: Wild Turkey shots and pasta.