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The World Is Not Enough

James Bond is back and as sexy as ever! I really never understand all the hubbalou about the 007 series being sexist. Have they seen these movies? 007's males are also sex objects to for criminy sakes. Besides, Bond chicks aren't exactly silly Time of Your Life airheads the size of celery stalks! Their kick ass, mega evil or intelligent women who also happen to be drop dead gorgeous. Don't worry girls, we get eye candy too. Every James Bond has a certain, um, pheromone exuding from his manly-man pores. You know, our idea of what the male should be... Perpetually horny, witty, wealthy, sharp dressed, and great handler of stressful situations. Not like here in the real world where a trash bag rips on your man Du Jour and he's a broken eggshell, waiting for your direction on such a life altering decision. I confess I have found every Bond (except Timothy Dalton) sexy, even Peter Sellers. Didn't know about Sellers' Bond? Sure, rent Casino Royale. Although, there is an uneasy feeling with his Bond. One keeps expecting Kiito to jump out from a closet and Sellers to slip into a French accent and fall face first into a swan shaped pate or some such Pink Pantherism.

Now, this Bond, Pierce ' I'm too sexy for my smirk, too sexy for my smirk...so sexy' Brosnan on the other hand. Jeeze Louise is this guy's a triple-Baskin Robbins scoop-with Heath Bar sprinkles gently rained atop- slowly licked down to the sugar cone- type! Pierce was supercaloriefreeorgasmic in The Thomas Crown Affair, but as James Bond he's always pure female fantasy material for a long winter's night snuggling by the fire, just you and Mr. V-if you get my vibe.

Here's Bond's international tale of intrigue for today... Bond's boss, M (Dame 'Does this men's haircut still let my feminine side show through' Judy Dench) has an old time friend from her college years that has gone and got himself involved in some mad terrorists' plot to circumvent the fourth most lucrative oil line in the world. Enter evil Renard (Robert 'Give us a pint, mate' Carlyle) who's past, shall we say, encounter with a little rich girl drives him to steal a nuclear bomb. Bond's called in. His assignment should he agree to except...oops wrong flick. He must protect a little rich girl from an evil terrorist and find the bomb. Enter Electra King (Sophie Marceau), the little rich girl. Um, yeah, she's twenty something built of molten magma, which he immediately pounces on, or visa versa. He has his signature Martini. Then he meets Christmas Jones (Denise ' Does this eyebrow look like a caterpillar, tell me honestly' Richards) a mega attractive nuclear specialist with a tomboy edge. Will they find the bomb in time?

Yeah, like we care. It's Bond. We go to 007 films because they are fine pieces of action with great looking men, wild villains and those Bond girls. Oh and James' neato-keen gizmos to help him escape from death defying situation after death defying situation? There here kiddies! McGyver without that Trash De Blancness.

Denise Richards (Christmas) is great. She was surprisingly dressed down, for a Bond girl. Cool. Last summer Denny was in that hysterical Drop Dead Gorgeous sleeper. She's a fine actress and hopefully we'll see a lot more of her. Like maybe in the roles they keep giving lame ass Jagger lipped Angelina Jolie.

Electra (Marceau), played the male fantasy role here guys. She's an erotic dominatrix with affection for seduction and slinky Frederick's of Hollywood wear. Enjoy.

Snack Recommendation: Beluga Caviar, with sour cream and crostini

Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Denise Richards, Dame Judy Dench, Robert Carlyle, Sopie Marceau and John Cleese.


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