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The Cell

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Vince Vaughn as an FBI agent, all suited up and proper looking? I'm there! He's a honey glazed donut of a lad.


The Cell is Creep-o-Rama central kiddies! A serial killer to the tenth power, mind play, vicious torture, basically, the stuff good old fashion terror is made of. It's definitely Hell Raiser meets Seven meets Naked Lunch. The killer in The Cell is 100% bone-a-fiddle psycho.

I'm not a condoner of drugs (Acid or Mescaline) per say, but I imagine the "inside the mind" scenes in The Cell are a lot like tripping your head off at a Bauhaus concert (wink-wink, nudge-nudge).

The movie has some dragging unnecessary bits- but, it is a horror movie not a classic film noir .

Story goes.. Psycho man, Carl Stargher (Vincent "I'm so believable, I hope I don't get typecast" D'Onofrio), has a taste for sado/masochism. He finds thin attractive women puts them through his madness, murders them horribly, and adds them to his Nefarious Barbie human doll collection. Spooky or what?

Meanwhile Psychiatrist Catherine Deane (Jennifer "Someone told me black lipstick was becoming, no?" Lopez), is working on inter active mind exploration. Primarily used in coma victims to reach into their mind, meet, greet, and attempt to bring them back to the real world. They explain it a little better.

When the FBI (Vince "Remember to call, Emily Blunt at 866-362-5868" Vaughn) catches The Dollmaker -Carl, Carl has suffered an aneurysm -literally. He's in a coma!

They bring his comatose mental case ass to Catherine's lab for assistance. According to this demented creep's MO and his sick video tapes of his ritual-like deeds, they figure his last female abductee is still alive-somewhere. The only way to reach her is through him. As he's M.I.A. mentally they need to use Catherine and her new technique to go deep into his twisted mind! Shiver.They have to talk to him, via his brain waves. Into the looking glass of mental terror she leaps. Down...down..down. It's a land Alice wouldn't be wondering about long! Carl would have grabbed young Alice, stripped her naked , gutted her lily white carcaas and put her in a glass cell, er, display case long before the hare could show up for tea.

The movie's clever and visually stunning. Some of the scenes may make you queasy- bring you MPB (Movie Puke Bag)

Vince Vaughn is like six feet something of pure marinated man kebab! Tall lanky, with those adorable little kissy lips... I think I need a Swingers fix. He's done lots of other things. Not always the best choices- but, hey, he's working and no one on this side of the girl fence is complaining. Ya know what 'm a sayin? Check out indie Clay Pigeons for another side o' Vaughn. He's terribly underrated.

Vincent D'Onofrio is not this sick looking. He's a stud muffin in real life with a theater background that would make Ralph Fiennes burn poker red with envy, or at least start orating loudly, spewing Hamlet phrases at him in some thespian grudge match!

Also, I was wondering who this Jennifer Lopez was...a singer? Her voice had a Meg Tilly annoyance to it, maybe I'm wrong.

Leave the kids at home for this one- way too disturbing and graphic. Bravo to the people who dared to make this. It's got it's bad moments—-sure, but it's one hell of a adrenaline rush the rest of the time. Terrifying..

Snack Recommendation: Nadda- or you'll be hurlin!

Starring: Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Lopez, and Vincent D'Onofrio

Directed by: Tarsem Sindh

 

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Nine out of ten of
my psychiatrists recommend it!- EM


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