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Perhaps it's the fond memory that still lingers in my brain of the happy fluffy night I watched David Spade recently dole out stand up comedy. He viscerally dissected the world around him with his signature cynical -razor- at- your- neck wit interwoven with his ever cunning transitions at a charity function.

Maybe it's my undying love of Tommy Boy...I should have hated this colossal pathetic attempt at movie making. Actually, I did.

But, still not Spade...Though I kept daydreaming the screen before me was a wide-screen TV and the channel changed only to catch Spade's face with the show title "When good comedians go bad" blazon across his mullet wig wearin' little head. One longs for the old DS from SNL days to review this movie. What would he have said? Ouch.

This may be why I am kinder with my well chosen adjectives loaded up like a verbal arsenal to rip apart this film...

The funniest thing about this movie was guest star Christopher Walken's hair. Bouffanted and in multi-shades of color proudly pompadoured atop the Indie legends scalp. For co-scripter comedy writer extraordinaire Spade that's not a good thing.

That and what I refer to as the comedy life jacket afloat in this sea of mediocrity so odious Neptune himself would have drowned in it; Dennis Miller. Miller's scenes so intelligently orated that he , alone, kept you (in your case -me) from exiting to catch the 2-for-1 Chekhov paperback book sale at Borders downtown.

Denny's a remarkable and brilliant in a "way- over- their- heads" way. A professional wordsmith that the predominantly 12-14 year old audience just kind of stared blankly upon, up on the screen. I, naturally, wailed aloud with giddy laughter, snickering in knowledge at his often obscure references ( "Dirt's the Toyko Rose of the Trailer Park..." or " Joe's hair , folks, looks like Jane Fonda in Klute"). The young pre-pubic hair Spade audience just glanced over at me giggling , semi-frightened , yet oddly saddened by the weird old lady alone in the front seat.

Dennis plays an LA morning airjockey who interviews the sad mullet wig wearing, cretinous, vapid little Joe Dirt. I wonder who wrote Miller's interjections? The good parts of the movie? I would like to think, nay hope, Spade...

Story goes... Joe Dirt,
(a name given to the odd child by his father) has been left "accidentally" behind at the Grand Canyon during a dysfunctional family vacation. Joe, eight at the time, wonders around in a depressing never ending search for his beloved parents. He stumbles into various towns. Meets various people in these small towns-all of which are exceptionally rude and mean to him due to his odd wig. He wears a mullet wig ( due to some hideous-laugh-a-minute birth defect), sports Ac-Dc shirts, recites Auto Trader, adores Eddie Money and prefers pastel colored acid washed jeans circa 1983. Okay, that's funny for like five minutes— maybe.

Joe's adventures include: budding up with a fecesious meteorite, befriending an American Indian- gone- fireworks- salesman (Adam "milkin' the heritage" Beach), being a captive who's rescued in the nick of time from Buffalo Bill ( a Silence of the Lambs spoof- very well done but seemed restrained), and his meeting, and befriending, a purdy young viddle named Brandy (a purdy viddle named Brittany Daniel). Not in any particular order.

Your lucky I even stayed for the whole telegraphed stock joke infested crapfest.

Why'd ya do it David? You are such a treasure. Your mind to be left to a comedy school for future comics to study sarcasm and cynicism in it's highest and pourest form. Shame on you!

Christopher Walken , as I mentioned earlier, makes a small cameo-esque role. His eyes shimmering, his hair laughable. However he's in on the joke. He even does a little dance number for ya. Love this guy...

Rosanna Arquette makes an appearance from the Hollywood MIA list

Kevin Nealon has four sentences puncuated with a snort.

These recognizable guests are pretty much there for friend Dave, not necessary, or particularly funny. Except, again, Walken's hair.

Skip this wait for rental. I'd say make it a Spade Night but most of his movies (Tommy Boy aside) reeked like that blue light special purchase of sea scallops that's been forgotten in the fridge door. In the words of Dennis Miller Joe Dirt's "an underachieving nexus."

Snack recommendation: French "Cries", Loserburgers and a "whine"eken beer.

Starring: David Spade, Dennis Miller, Brittany Daniel, Christopher walken and some folks who'd probably prefer there name not be mentioned.

Directed by: Dennie Gorden


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