in Loathing In Theater 3
Let me just start by saying:
DO NOT SEE THIS.
tag line for the film is "This time you can't just turn
the channel"- referencing Tom Green's MTV days. Yes,
you're right Tom. Er, but Mr. Stupid we can just not
true I despise Tom Green. I think he's just, well for lack of
a better word, untalented. He tries to get those nervous
laughs like Andy Kaufman did. THOUGH
even Kaufman knew when enough was enough.
like a deranged psychotic 10 year old that's wedged itself in
a thirty-something male adult's body and been given a media
told everyone I know about my horror. My brother roars
with laughter each time I bring up another hideous scene and
starts singing: "daddy do you want some sausages...,"
my young manly roommate says he's: "just got to see it!
Green's a nut" and the attendee where I slip in for the
extra large coffee each morning, also male, wasn't sympathetic
either: " Green? Ah, come on the guy's hysterical...The
time he had that dick surgery right on the television? I laughed
so heard I farted."
Alas, readers, I guess, I am alone in my hell...If your a male
between 12 and 40 you'll apparently enjoy this crapfest extravaganza,
it's a chromosome thing 'spose...
I can not even begin to tell you the visual profanities spewed
out at the poor audience in the name of shock comedy!(?) Tah,
this guy Green's the one who needs shock. Shock therapy with
twice daily until cured, blazon upon his prescription!
a small example of the mindbogglingly bad humor Green dishes
up for his victims, er, viewers: (should you skip my four skull
and cross bones warning and venture forth!) He actually guts
a deer, crawls inside the bloody carcass like a Wal-mart
costume, and dances around the road "disguised" as
the butchered deer...more like a depraved serial killer.
it my sides are killing me from laughter-NOT!
for some pathetic reason, he is now delivering a baby. The baby
arrives and this assfart Green's character swings it around
above his head like a Scottish sporting piece and bites the
umbilical cord with his teeth complete with Monty Python-esque
blood skirting about wildly. Stolen, and if your
gonna steal try to be at least better at the shtick huh? This
isn't new folks or done in particularly funny
but there's more maniacal mayhem from the master of mediocre
orifice jokes kiddies. A friend of his falls whilst skateboarding
and a bone sticks out from his leg ...Green leaps down and licks
it ! Whoa I'm still deaf from the resonating laughter-NOT!
NOT SEE THIS.
only thing sadder then Green repeatedly getting work of any
kindoutside a slaughter
house of the insane is his confirmed wedding to über
cutey Drew Barrymore. I think her drug
years laminated the part of the brain that deciphers goonman
from spouse. Poor kid. I have so much respect for her...Well,
till now. Okay, maybe he's nice in real life, but ya
know I really don't care. The spirit's of her legendary theatrical
family are hitting the bottle but hard this month!
"story" goes (and I speak that word "story"
in a: "grade three, try to make sentences kids, we'll start
there" voice)...Gordy's (Tom "patuey" Green)
back at his parents' because he was sacked from his cheese sandwich
making job at a factory. Hardeeharhar. He doesn't want to have
a real job. Kneeslap. He's an artist or something. So he tortures
his townsmen, parents, and friends...Look
I suffered enough. Please don't make me do this...I'm simply
nauseated by this!
NOT SEE THIS. It would be like going over to the
is no redeeming value! This jerk is just lucky somebody in Hollywood
with a distinguished name even gave him the time of day. This
is so bad, the up side is Hollywood may actually really throw
him away now...But, his wife has a powerful production
company. Darn it!
sucked. Green sucks. Don't get suckered!
NOT SEE THIS. Go for a nice calm dinner and then
go see Momento!
with: Tom Idiot Green, Rip Torn and folks I'm not going
to mention, they'll thank me later.
by: Megalomaniac with a borderline personality disorder
credits: Tom Green & Derek Harvie.... Writing credits---now