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Godzilla 2000

A perfect Godzilla movie! Admittedly- I have every tacky item ever made in the image of old Godzie. Yes, even the sheets with matching curtains- of course those are in the guest room now. So, this is a biased review.

Last year when that mock Godzilla movie reared it's phony head, all the purist squealed in disgust, as the new steroid- pumping- techno- lizard attempted to fill Godzie's slipped on rubber boots. It bombed of course. They missed what made Godzilla so endearing- CAMP!

G2000's story goes...Godzilla is terrorizing Tokyo - per usual. The Godzilla Prediction Network has their eye on him. Of course he's not hard to really "predict" as the boy's 50 stories high! Geeze.

Meanwhile, scientists are raising a large "rock" formation from the deeps of the sea- like 80 millions leagues. Some of the best fake scene shots come from this little adventure. Wow! Sooo deep below the sea. Tah! It's about 3 feet of H2O in a fish tank with a blur effect on the lens. Looks JUST like we really, really are under water...NOT! Love this movie. No Perfect Storm 30 million dollar budget here folks. Probably two Tokyo University graphic design majors with a certification in PhotoShop and a 50 gallon fresh water tank.

Anywho, the "rock" the scientists have unearthed is really a space ship-oddly shaped like a silver spray painted diaphragm -from another galaxy! It landed here over 60 million years ago. Wowsers! That's a long time ago- even before Godzilla. It's very Independence Day for a few minutes and Tokyo is holding their breath.

Where's Godzilla? Oh, he's coming don't you worry about that ... He's pissed off and gonna kick some alien butt. Of course the alien has no form until it tries to CLONE itself into another Godzilla. Ridiculous right? Perfect Godzilla.

Starring Horishita Yakusukimacoa and Ykirishi Shanghaietoylo the screen is electric with nostalgia. They only clue your watching a modern production of Godzilla is the lap tops and cell phones with company logos blatantly strewn across. All the campy-Velveeta cheese-on creamed chipped toast-schmeltzy production values are here. The classic mismatching of English voice soundtrack to Japanese speaking cast, the adorable - and obvious- miniature sets Godzilla pummels, the homeward bound train victims, and those ever-present bouncing Godzilla toes. What? You remember... His feet always landed hard on a Japanese building and his toesies would have a few minutes of residual bounce, like Rosie O'Donnell's stomach on chair impact. They didn't miss a trick. I thought I heard Akira Kurosawa toss a bit in his grave.

If you loved Godzilla as a kid your gonna love this. There are no Xmen special effects, or Pokemon characters so your kids may be bored to tears. But , for the B movie loving crowd, this one's a keeper.

Snack recommendation: Sushi and sashimi take-away, with Saki

Starring: Takehiro Murata and Naomi Nishida and a lot of really unpronouncable Japanese actors whom we'll never recoginze anyway.

Directed by: Takao Okawara , TOHO Productions

 

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Nine out of ten of
my psychiatrists recommend it!- EM


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