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Pushing Tin


As you have all learned by now, Mr.Cusack is a very talented actor. His extreme comfort in front of the camera sometimes makes ya think it's a home movie and not a closed 25 person shoot with lowfat catering.

He's also very sexy, in a both of you heaving naked in Times Square beneath the Ramen soup sign way... However, even Cusack's talent melded with adorable winking eyes and cutie boo lips couldn't save the lame-o-rama movie! Why was this made, kept popping into mind. It wasn't very funny, the people were dull and flat. An over all disappointment actually.

We follow this dick head (for lack of a better adjective), Nick Falzone (John 'kick-boxing demi-God' Cusack) around his regular life, meet his regular wife , meet his regular friends and see his very unregular job.

See, Mr. Ego aka Nick is an air traffic controller!

Great! This is the mumaluke you want steering your 747 from 30,000 feet? (shiver). Don't we all go to movies to escape reality? We do not wish to spend an evening with immature, alcoholic boy-men who are quite frankly way too familiar for comfort. Ya know, I need three strong drinks and a couple percocet just to sit in an airplane! Now I have to have his image dancing around in my nervous little head? My palms sweat the whole reel through. When would it end? Not soon enough.


   Now, already fearing this movie was heading into a trash bin, enter Nyquil boy-and instant rival to Nick, Mr. Russell Bell (Billy Bob"Billy Jack"Jack Thorton).

Omigawd, as if! Nick instantly feels "outdone" by this odd slothy man. Russell is better at the things most important to ol' Nicky; Basketball, singing, and oh, landing human beings safely into the busiest flight area in the world-NEW YORK!

Nick loses it. Did I mention this lame Russell character is part Indian and sports a feather on his head! Sounds so stupid, right? It was.


 Ok, Cusack and Thorton had some very clever scenes. Why not the writers who penned Taxi and Cheers (Emmy award winning television comedy) wrote this B52 bomber. My fears their talents had run dry became reality as I found myself in the middle of the film and the main guys are STILL having high-school- like -penis- envy.

Did I remember to shut the iron off? Was that row of seats there last week? How many stitches are there in denim? My mind was-a-wonderin'!


  Positive note: Cate Blanchett, one of the best actresses around (Elizabeth), managed to save character Connie. Connie was the ultra-regular wife of Nick. Charming.

Angelina "puffy-lips" Jolie was a great purring seductive chick married to Russell The Dull, with a taste for cheap vodka. Lets face it, Ms. Bew-tee-full would not be with this guy Russell even if he was a French speaking, soft singing, macho man with nice teeth. How do you say-PAAAAAAlese in Native Indian?

Ya know a lot of talent behind the scenes and right in front of you went into this flick, which makes you think, why did this bite the big kielbasa so bad?

Snack recommendation: No-Doz and croissants

Starring: John Cusack , Billy-Bob Thorton, Cate Blanchett, and Angelina Jolie

Directed by: Mike Newell

Written by: Glen and Les Charles

 

 

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