As you have all learned by now, Mr.Cusack is a very talented
actor. His extreme comfort in front of the camera sometimes
makes ya think it's a home movie and not a closed 25 person
shoot with lowfat catering.
also very sexy, in a both of you heaving naked in Times Square
beneath the Ramen soup sign way... However, even Cusack's talent
melded with adorable winking eyes and cutie boo lips couldn't
save the lame-o-rama movie! Why was this made, kept
popping into mind. It wasn't very funny, the people were dull
and flat. An over all disappointment actually.
We follow this dick head (for lack of a better adjective), Nick
Falzone (John 'kick-boxing demi-God' Cusack) around his regular
life, meet his regular wife , meet his regular friends and see
his very unregular job.
See, Mr. Ego aka Nick is an air traffic controller!
This is the mumaluke you want steering your 747 from 30,000
feet? (shiver). Don't we all go to movies to escape reality?
We do not wish to spend an evening with immature, alcoholic
boy-men who are quite frankly way too familiar for comfort.
Ya know, I need three strong drinks and a couple percocet just
to sit in an airplane! Now I have to have his image dancing
around in my nervous little head? My palms sweat the whole reel
through. When would it end? Not soon enough.
Now, already fearing this movie was heading into
a trash bin, enter Nyquil boy-and instant rival to Nick, Mr.
Russell Bell (Billy Bob"Billy Jack"Jack Thorton).
Omigawd, as if! Nick instantly feels "outdone" by
this odd slothy man. Russell is better at the things most important
to ol' Nicky; Basketball, singing, and oh, landing human beings
safely into the busiest flight area in the world-NEW YORK!
Nick loses it. Did I mention this lame Russell character is
part Indian and sports a feather on his head! Sounds so stupid,
right? It was.
Ok, Cusack and Thorton had some very clever scenes. Why
not the writers who penned Taxi and Cheers
(Emmy award winning television comedy) wrote this B52 bomber.
My fears their talents had run dry became reality as I found
myself in the middle of the film and the main guys are STILL
having high-school- like -penis- envy.
Did I remember to shut the iron off? Was that row of seats there
last week? How many stitches are there in denim? My mind was-a-wonderin'!
Positive note: Cate Blanchett, one of the best actresses
around (Elizabeth), managed to save character Connie.
Connie was the ultra-regular wife of Nick. Charming.
"puffy-lips" Jolie was a great purring seductive chick
married to Russell The Dull, with a taste for cheap vodka. Lets
face it, Ms. Bew-tee-full would not be with this guy Russell
even if he was a French speaking, soft singing, macho man with
nice teeth. How do you say-PAAAAAAlese in Native Indian?
know a lot of talent behind the scenes and right in front of
you went into this flick, which makes you think, why did
this bite the big kielbasa so bad?
Snack recommendation: No-Doz and croissants
Starring: John Cusack , Billy-Bob Thorton,
Cate Blanchett, and Angelina Jolie
by: Mike Newell
by: Glen and Les Charles