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Big Kahuna- 2000 (Drama) Full Review

Too bad Kevin Spacey is this huge star now. Because if he wasn't this movie would have received the accolades it truly deserves. It is not another Buddy Ackerman ( from Swimming W/Sharks- an older Spacey flick) as one half witted critic spewed in some large paper. Did she see either movie was my first thought.

Snack Recommendation: Shrimp and cheese balls for us and high protein/carb shakes for Mr. Spacey please—Kev's looking much to thin!.

American Beauty-1999 (Drama) Full review

Lester Burham has developed the spine of a shrimp over the years. He wants his life back. He wants to...feel again. Have some fun again. Sniff. Even the semi-nude shots of Kevin couldn't keep me out of this man Lester's head. Gosh, I waited all these years to see this guy naked! But nooo he has to be such a good actor the fantasy is ruined. Hmmm, Mr. Spacey's got a definite evil streak. I think I'll drink some 151 rum and watch it again. Snack recommendation: Asparagus with butter sauce

Hurly Burly - 1999 (drama) Full review

Eddie (Sean Penn) is a rude boy with so much (he thinks) to say, and say and say and say! It's fun to watch him and his frolicking  friends suffer through their little lives. Mickey (Spacey) is his clever well dressed roomie helping with the frolicking. Mickolous even sleeps with Eddie's girlfriend--gosh he's a swell friend! Oh, Mickey he's so fine, he's so fine he blows my mind...OH MICKEY. Snack recommendation: Moldy oranges and week old Hostess snowballs

The Usual Suspects - Rated R, 1995. (mystery)

Cast, direction, plot-everything about Suspects is perfect. Even a Baldwin bonus! Who is Keysor Soze? Devil? Myth? Linebacker for the Turkish football team? Why does he leave little "Verbal" Kint (Spacey) alive? Agent Kujan (Chazz Palminteri) wants to know and is steadfast at bullying the "Verbmeister". Gabriel Bynes is very Quintilianesque. Benicio Del Toro is hysterical as Fenster-hardly audible--but...
Snack recommendation: Turkish taffy-it just seems what "Verbal" would like.

Swimming with Sharks - Rated R 1995 (Dark Comedy)

What a mesmerizingly clever movie. Na´ve L.A. newcomer, Guy (Frank Whaley) tip-toes around a narcissistic, sex-crazed, totalitarian, condescending boss named Buddy Ackerman (Spacey). The Budski's a bit of a tyrant squared. He pushes the young Guy over the edge (metaphorically speaking) and the fun begins. Buddy gets a lesson ‘bout a messin’ with the chick of a jealous man. There's a wee bit o’ torture in here-hey, get over it! What’re you a woose? Snack recommendation: Belvedere Martinis and take-out Sushi.

Consenting Adults - Rated R 1992 (Thriller)

Creep-o-rama Central! A seemingly Mr. Sauve Bolla, Eddie Otis (Spacey) is really up to some mischief in this titillating little flick. He wants his best friend’s wife, his best friend wants his wife, Christmas carols and baseball bats. Whoa! What the h-e-double hockey sticks is going on in this yuppified thriller? Hmmm. Warning: the promised nudity is NOT repeat NOT the right Kevin-it's Kevin Kline-figures! Snack recommendation: Godiva chocolate dipped strawberries, a bottle of Pouilly Fuisse, and a pack of Marlboro mediums.

L.A . Confidential - Rated R. 1997 (Drama mystery)

What a period piece. Men Galore! Jack Vencennes (Spacey) is an ultra-hipster hell bent on makin’ a name for ‘imself-well, until a young "'swinger" gets rubbed out and it eats at Jacko’s conscience. Down, down and down he goes. There are several story lines running at once, but you can handle it. Russell Crowe (an Aussie manly-man import) plays a great woman protector. And Kim "I-got-a-Baldwin" Bassinger plays a Veronica Lake doer of men for money. Snack recommendation: Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and a cherry Coke.

The Ref - Rated PG 1994 (Comedy)

All poor Lloyd Chasseur (Spacey) wants is his award-winning dysfunctional family to play nice for this years hell gig…er…ah… Christmas dinner. However, en route from the marriage counselor’s, he and his adoring wife, Caroline (a brilliant Judy Davis) get hijacked by a wisecracking, gun totin’, bad boy named Gus (Denis "fun at parties" Leary). Let the mayhem begin! Snack recommendation: Scandinavian Lamb Gookins.

Outbreak- Rated R (Horror)

As if Monkeys weren’t spooky enough-hey, I still need therapy from the Planet of The Apes. Now they’ve brought a body eating airborne disease to California! In one particularly terrifying scene we see a movie theater crammed with people and some pig (human kind-not swine) coughs without covering their mouth. The disease germs swirl through the air and kill everyone! Thank you God, for the creation of VCRs. Casey (Spacey) is one of the foul little monkey's nemesis’ turned victim. A shallow girly-girl point: during Casey's death scene we see an unclothed Spacey, with the life chokin ‘out of him…Cry or drool? Cry or drool? Life's little dilemmas. Snack Recommendation: Well cooked, well washed anything.

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil -Rated R 1997 (Mystery)

The oh-so-charming underbelly of Savannah is extravagantly exposed here. Jim Williams (Spacey) has his eye on a whole lot more than precious antiques. When he is "forced" to kill his boy-toy, Williams is ceremoniously thrust "out" of his flamboyant closet. John Kelso (John "nice and tall-yummy!" Cusack), helps dear old Williams wiggle out of the death penalty via Voodoo and transvestites. Based on a true story. Snack recommendation: Crawfish and lite beer in a plastic cup.

Glengarry Glenross - Rated PG 1992 (Drama)

Weird "movie" , it's a better play, more personal. However, the cast is the creme de la creme of actors. It's well worth the rental fee to see these masters at work-acting. Just hang with these sad familiar men awhile-it'll grow on you. No big special effects and don’t expect a lot of scene changes. Snack Recommendation: A bagged lunch.

Looking for Richard - (Documentary)

Al "I really can't do anything wrong" Pacino ingeniously weaves a movie around a lesson in Shakespeare's Richard The 3rd. Trust me, you may even like Shakespeare after this. Spacey plays himself, and Buckingham the conniver. Snack Recommendation: Shepherd’s Pie or Bangers and Mash.

The Negotiator - Rated R 1998 (Action)

The only reason to see this is because Spacey and Samuel L. Jackson converse together. Story sucks. Can you say "Generic Action Movie 101" theater to the right. Snack Recommendation: Pizza.

Seven - Rated R 1995 (Horror)

John Doe (Spacey) is evil-evil I tell ya! I was up for days. Brad "effeminate" Pitt and Morgan "I'm always good, in whatever I'm in" Freeman are also in this. I almost lost my head over this one, ar,ar, ar! Superscarieipolousjohndoeeis! Snack Recommendation: Nothing! Or you’ll be hurlin’!

Check out a Spacey directed Albino Alligator, an exceptionally well done film. Period.

Most Alien Life Forms Agree:

"Spacey Movies are one of life's greatest pleasures--along with Rice Krispy treats."
                        --Gonad, Ruler of Testor

as quoted from the Galaxy Gazette
stardate: 1999


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