Naomi Watts, Sissy Spacek, and David Dorfman
Directed by: Hideo Nakata
The Ring Collector's Edition
speaking? Do I really
even need to write this one? The Ring Two is based on the Ring One, which was
based on the biggest Japanese hit, like, ever, ' Ringu.' It's obviously a mere
strain of its genetic ancestry. Blechy-poo. Though it was kind of unintentionally
humorous, the film droned on till we were all anxiously awaiting the seventh
(<- an inside joke for Ring folks...)
Rachel (Naomi Watts) and her boy, Aidan (David Dorfman) have started
a new life way up north in a hickyville-ish Rockwell area after that nasty videotape
business where folks died and such, six months before.
uh-oh, there's been a murder
and Rachel suspects the "unmarked"
vhs found at the crime scene. Who even has vhs's anymore after all...Naturally
Rach thinks the entity thingy (aka Samara) with the big hair across her ass for
the world, who spites those antiquated enough to view vhs, is baaaaccckk. Of course
it is. Then again
suffer through scenes designed to make us jump in fear - but without the use of
'The Tingler's' handy electronic hook ups to our theater seats one just troughs
like a human Tyrannosaur Rex on the high carb-endorphin inducing snack fare to
even stay awake.
Watts, as Rachel, suburban mom and Mrs. Columbo of the Northwest, basically carries
the film. She's a mega-talent among the dribble; the creme brulee among the bundt
cakes of one's pot-luck table. Sissy Spacek, who plays a doctor, is always delightfuly
Carrie-esque even when she's just "there."
admittedly, the scariest part (for me) is on the ad for this schlockfest. That
whole broken body walking up some well scene, ala The Exorcist up-the-stairs scene,
wigs me out - I mean therapy scary to me. But, for folks without "hang-ups,"
you may find this a barrel of laughs. Remember, they say, "before you die
you see the ring"
it doesn't say anything about having to see the Ring
Two! Skip this - wait till rental.
recommendation: Ring Dings you buy at the videoblockmeister for your evening's
entertainment - saving the smackers you'd spend on this sheetkadeedle.