Mark Wahlberg, Jennifer Aniston,
Jason Flemyng,Timothy Olyphant, Timpthy Spall, Jason Bonham, Stephen
Jenkins, Zakk Wylde, Brian Vander Ark, Dominic West and George
Clooney helped produce.
by: Stephen Herek
you wanna be a rock star? Who doesn't? Cool clothes, hot babes
(or mansteaks depending upon your preference) and world travel.
These days one barely needs talent...
cast within Rock Star, both the musicians and the actors playing
musicians, just don't have any oomph. It's hard for me not to
love Mark Wahlberg, though.
Wahlberg is not only one of the cutest croissants in the bakery
of man, but he's a wonderful actor. His soft-spoken, near bookish
demeanor and hard crusty bits mix in a large portion of talent
perfection cocktail. Sure, I'm smitten, but it's the truth. This
is one of his most humorous roles yet.
Star is a comedy, not a brilliant comedy, that follows the rise
of Chris Cole (MM-call Emily Blunt
at 1-866-362-5868- Wahlberg). He's a lead singer for a cover/tribute
band, Blood Pollution
that drives the locals into frenzy while they emulate a real,
famous, rock band Steel
Dragon ; like all those tribute bands of the Grateful Dead
or the Doors do even now at local dive venues to a screaming B
class groupies yellin' over a quazi-karaoke night.
year is 1985, big hair, tacky clothes and cucumber bulges rule,
and so does metal. Chris is very much a part of the scene. He's
a semi loser during the day, drives a beat up Dart, and lives
at home- 'nough said?
Christopher's unceremoniously booted from the band he lives
for he's thinking life's pretty much a big old bag of rag weed
you paid a premium for. That is until his phone rings and fate
steps up to his microphone. He's asked to step-in for the Steel
Dragon's singer, Bobby Beers (Jason
Flemyng), ala the real life switch-a-roo Judas Priest pulled
with leather boy, Rob Halford...
has suddenly become the icon people in bands around the world
look to be. Neat huh? But he wants more. Snore. Chris, now known
as Izzy, does the whole Mick Jagger-Bowie-Poison gig and is livin
the generic rock star life of legends...all while as his gal,
who was always his strongest supporter, (sniff) Emily (Jennifer
" I see Brad Pitt naked
-anytime I want" Aniston) is starting to be lost in the fog
machine of life.
rude, crude, whoring around and into drug food. She's gotta dump
the creep. Oh, how quickly people forget who was there when they
were beggin' for change to fill up their gas tank...He gets his
ego bruised a little to though... hehehe (<-evil cackle)
Star's problem? There's a lack of edge, no real energy of the
"time" is present, and few belly laughs await you, dare
I say it's a Spinal Tap lite? Granted Rock Star has some great
scenes, some decent acting and lots of young hot bucks in tight
clothing wriggling about a stage and scantly clad felines for
all the audience to enjoy.
Mark "the actor" Wahlberg was once an underwear exposing
hip-hop artist ricocheting around a stage in his Calvins, grabbing
his crotch to sound of screaming girls simultaneously in prayer
that his stylin' oversized jeans would plummet to the floor and
reveal his winky. While Rock Star's music is other end of the
jukebox different, Wahlberg's had the rock star experience and
he does a great (I just think it could have been even better)
job of bring Chris up to a quazi-believable star. Mark did provide
less of a lypsyncing-local-talent-show impersonation and managed
to capture an essence of what schmoo turned icon would be reacting
like. The movie itself just didn't grab you.
band Steel Dragons actually boasts real musicians with a bit of
a name for themselves; the drummer is the real Jason Bonham (son
of Led Zeppelin's John Bonham -second only to Moon in talent),
the bassist is Dokken's guitarist Jeff Pilson, and Third Eye Blind's
lead singer, Stephan Jenkins plays a rival bands lead singer.
So there's tasty treats for the diehard music folks sprinkled
in the audience.
I thought of Spinal Tap, the quintessential rock star mock and
wished for Nigel (Christopher Guest) to pop up backstage arguing
about finger sandwiches and the evils of bread crust...it never
Aniston is still trying to break out of her Friend's mold. She
hasn't done it here, unfortunately. Her role, as Chris (Izzy)'s
girlfriend Emily, could have been played by just about any starlet
wandering the lot. Maybe next time she'll get some meat and dumplings
to sink her perfectly shaped teeth into? It's hard to get out
of the whole must see TV stuff.
the end , Rock Star is a big old metaphor for how important it
is to be yourself. To find your own voice. Sure Chris/Izzy's made
it big, filling the shoes of Steel Dragon's ex-singer. Somebody
who already paved the road, so the fans aren't really gushing
over Chris at all. That's
gonna effect your psyche eventually huh? He's an artist after
Rock Star is also a chance for some rock and roll nostalgia. Not
just for the fond memory of the ridiculously made-up boys of the
eighties, but for those shapely men in their super tight custom
leather performing a kind of bare chested ballet to screaming
guitars and half hour long drum riffs. If your one of them rush
and see this...if not wait for rental.
Snack recommendation: Beer and donuts, while reviewing Boogie
Nights just one more time...
Steel Dragon's site