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Scary Movie

Starring: Jonathan Abrahams, Marlon, and the other little Wayan Shawn, Carmen Electra and Shannon Elizabeth

Directed by: comic entrepreneur Keenan Ivory Wayans

You know how you hear about the writer or an artist that had the one good novel or one Renoir-esque painting then everything after just kind of emitted toxic farty fumes? Well, that's our man Keenan Ivory Wayans.

This man had a great concept and a mammoth hit with In Living Color, his predominately black cultured sketch comedy show that made most of the cast (David Allen Greier, Jim Carrey, Damon Wayans etc.) and Fox network famous...It was fresh, rude and not afraid to stereotype any race. They just ran with it-didn't matter at whose expense. That's when comedy is at it's apex. Also, because a black man (K.I. Wayans) was behind all the hysterical stress-releasing-ice-breaking- culture-bashing sketches I.L.C. reveled in, the audience felt free to laugh - guilt free. Without feeling racist. Laugh they did, till it hurt. The show was original, ground breaking, and is still genius.

Now, get all that fuzzy nostalgia crap RIGHT out of your head because this movie was intolerably suckass. A huge corn encrusted turd in need of a good roto-o-rooter enema or two. Trite, dumb, annoying and like ten hours long. Sure, the ads say 88 minutes, but I beg to differ. The Patriot- some two and a half hours long- seemed like a network commercial compared to this bad entertainment E-Coli filled burrito of a film. Granted it's his younger brothers Shawn and Marlon who are the head writers here. They too are usually quite original funny guys. What up dudes?

Telegraphed comedy? From this family? Say it isn't so. I love cheesy- honest. But, 1-2-3 joke? No, not from a Wayans. Unacceptable.

Scary Movie is a spoof on horror movies. Didn't the Scream (S) do that already. Um, yes, and they did with humor. Remember, HUMOR, a noun: meaning things that the human brain finds funny and causes the ends of the mouth orifice to curl and spasm while vocal sounds known as giggles project out. Often associated with wetting ones pants, or "blowing snot."

Oh, there will be none of that kind of spasming or blowing going on here kids. Scary Movie was so telegraphed and typical it was Scooby- Doo obvious, only Thelma had better punch lines. With all the "writers" reputed to have worked on this celluloid dung heap, you think they would have at least come up with one never before seen (over and over again) gag. Blair Witch Project's here-natch. Guess which scene? Last year's news no less. What's really scary about this movie is somebody screened it and decided it was ready for a live viewing audience. Shudder.

Yes, there are a couple of burst out funny parts- I'd be lying if I didn't admit that. But, I guess I just expected too much. The audience hot-and-hollered so I fear I am alone in my opinion. The last scene was very well done, and the gay jokes on Shawn kept everyone, ( accept GLAAD no doubt) wheezing.

Marlon's one handsome fellow. Scrumptious. But, still, I can not give a phony review. What went wrong. Sniff

Snack recommendation: Small popcorn while heading to a different movie




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