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SHAFT

Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Jeffrey Wright Christian Bale Vanessa Williams, Toni Collette

Directed by: John Singleton

 

 

Who's the Mack daddy cat that's all that? The hippest bro sans the fluffy fro? John Shaft is carrying a BA in street strut and a Ph.D. in straight talk.

Samuel L. Jackson IS Shaft.
Well, actually, John Shaft's (the 70's Shaft) nephew also named John Shaft. He exudes confidence and sexuality. He's black and proud. Tall and straight. John Shaft's also one tough mutha f*ckin New York homicide detective looking out for bads guys in this updated spin on the 70's cult classic. Complete with some swanky new threads, good old mutha f*ckin' dialog and not a bellbottom to be seen. Does Armani even make bellbottoms?

Dig, Shaft's all pissed of at the current injustices facing him and his fellow brother man. A rich white mutha f*ucka done killed a blackman. A definite racial attack. But white boy is having none of jail time and big house bitches. He's skiing in Switzerland. That is until (for some unknown reason) two years after the big skip town/exit stage left, bad white man AKA Mr. Wade Jr. ( An ever adorable stud muffin with walnuts Christian Bale) comes home to NYC. Immediately Shaft apprehends the young wealthy racist. Shaft is hell bent on having the boy face the crime and do the time. Shaft must find the "witness" from that evening's slaughter, a skittish waitress ( Toni Collette) to get a conviction.

Wade Jr. being the "personal assistance necessary" type calls in his new dog, a Latino tattooed-king snake-drug lord from the 5 boroughs, Peoples Hernandez played by Jeffrey "Could my name be more white" Wright. They met each other in the lockdown, cooler, slammer, the thingy place were they hold bad boys with flaring nostrils. Peoples is a mean mutha f*cka and he can definitely assist young Wade in his 86in' of the witness waitress. It's gonna cost him though.Can you say blue-blood drug connection on 5th ave?

Now, John Shaft's all wise to the goings on in the underbelly of NYC and plays a few little mutha f*ckin' head games with all the bad ass boyz right here. The action and the story starts to groove. Can you dig it?

S.L. Jackson is one cool kitten. He's 51 in real life but that man's looking mighty fine, and like a dark full wine, getting better with age. That man's chocolate lover's delight in a large onyx bowl. Scrumptious!

Jeffrey Wright AKA "Peoples" is cute even all gang membered up and touching himself. One of those chiseled marble bodies of beef with big soulful eyes....excuse me. He's a talented fellow too. He played Basquiat the little film filled with super talents about street artist Jean Michel Basquiat. An Andy Warhol typy-arsty guy of the 80's. Try to look this one up. It's worth your hunt.

Then there's the uberevil Wade (Christian "Huma-huma" Bale) who didn't seem to have a bad angle to go with his hateful mutha f*ckin ' self. Heaven.

Vanessa Williams is great as Shaft's loyal colleague on the force. She's quite the actress.Toni Collette is the waitress who witnessed the heinous deed by American psycho Wade. It wasn't a huge part but, she did a great job.

As I remember though Shaft the elder was like "The Ladies Man" from SNL. A frame or two away from all out porn. Not in this loving restructured update. They even took out all that hokey blacker than thou crap and gave him an edge the old Shaft didn't have. Though in one scene when Shaft agrees to go home with the hot-to- spank- the- wild- cheeta- of- love- into- submission bartender, again, because it is his " duty to please her booty"-there's the old character peeking through. Shaft's a sexual cat, dig?

I loved the new, more realistic, less cartoonish, less insulting Shaft. And I love me some Sammie.

Sure, way too many people get killed and drop like carnival ducks in a gallery. Sure, Shaft is missed by no less than 4632 screaming bullets aimed directly at him from twenty feet or less, and sure the race card is evenly distributed and dished out in blatant equal portions to avoid an uneasy feeling, but you know what? It's still a mutha f*ckin' good time at the movies. Now, get your bad ass out mutha f*cka to see this movie. Dig?

Chef on South Park (AKA Isaac Hayes) remixed his original theme to Shaft and added some titillating tidbits to a soundtrack one really needs to buy.

Snack Recommendation: Glazed donuts and milk


 

 

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