|
 Original
Sin
Starring:
Angelina Jolie, Antonio Banderas, Thomas Jane and Jack Thompson
Directed
(and adapted) by: Michael Cristofer
It
is so sad to watch this torturous unfolding of two gorgeous, usually
talented, people ...The cinematography was excellent, the excessive
nudity scenes between Banderas and Jolie were, er, great but the
director over used the slow-down camera shtick and the, mysterious
stranger routine so much you found yourself waiting, nay, longing
for another bare-ass shot of Antonio (myself) or Angelina's breasts
(my movie escort) to keep you from running for the exit!
OS's
story is intriguing. A mail order bride arrives via steamship
to meet a husband she knows only from letters and a photo. She
admits she lied to him, as she is 100 times as pretty as her matronly
picture he received before her arrival. She explains she wants
a man who loves her not just for her looks...She's a MAIL ORDER
BRIDE. Love? Her name is Julia (Jolie) and her husband-
to-be, Luis (Banderas), his already falling for her before they
even exit the port.
It
seems he too has lied, he is not a mere clerk in a coffee factory
as he had told her in his letters, he actually owns the factory.
Please. Together they make bunnies blush in awe, and discover
bathing in metal made for two below murky water.
Then
one sunny Cuban plantation day, happy postal bride Julia disappears...She
has left him. Why? Who knows, he's rich good looking and
apparently quite the studmuffin in the boudoir. But alas, Julia
is not what, or who, she appears.
I
actually got confused at this point and thought they were trying
to feed us a split personality scenario as we are being escorted
through the film by a narrating Julia who now discusses an Emily
and Bonnie... But the sordid and long truth eventually turns its
ho-hum head.
Original
Sin is like an old gothic novel you find at a yard sale, but with
sex scenes. As a matter of fact Original Sin is based on a novel
by Cornell Woolrich "Waltz into Darkness." The credits
advise as the film begins...so in case you missed the tell-all
previews before hand, there is now no doubt that someone, presumably
Julia, is not all they appear to be right from the beginning if
frame one. I hate that!
Original
Sin's biggest sin is its direction. It moves too slow were quickness
was needed and whips through the areas that needed to slow down
and teach us why these two strangers had such a connection. Why
they went through all they do and, especially why this mighty
business owner Luis is a behemoth sized moron when it comes to
love. Snore.
Angelina
Jolie was pretty good as the bipolar Julia. She's using her inner
dialog and lips to convey a bevy of emotions. She won me over
with her incredible performance in Girl
Interrupted and again in Tomb
Raider (which I still insist was better than other critics
would lead you to believe...). This was a daring role- what with
all the booby shots and such, too bad it didn't work.
It's poor Bandanas, er, Banderas, who is simply cellophane in
depth and appears to have had a lobotomy before filming began.
Example of post operational evidence for this actor: He
is to convey a drunken Luis in one scene, and it comes off as,
perhaps, the worst film "drunk" ever! His eyes slowly
blinking, his torso in a sway and such nonsense. He looked more
like a SNL parody of Keith Richards circa 1975 after a  quick
-up-the- arm- shot-of-illegal- medicine. And his accent, heavy
for his role as Cuban Luis, was almost as indecipherable as anything
actress Salma Hayek does. Annoying. Good thing he's handsome,
otherwise I'd really give him a Blunt lashing. Luring me in with
his dark presence and mankabab body running about all naked...Shame
on him! I loved his directorial debut Crazy
in Alabama with wife Melanie And he did a great job in 4 Rooms
and Mambo Kings...He just needs to pick more deserving scripts
or directors with a better eye for subtle...
The
film will gross millions no doubt. Why? Jolie's bare bosom and
Banderas' perfect bum of course. Couples can enjoy the scenes
together without feeling the other is left out watching say a
guy as sexy as David Spade or a gal as unerotic as say, Linda
Tripp to make them uneasy with their own visual stimulation- a
miscasting faux pas which happens so often in films. If the cast
wasn't this attractive there would be no review because I would
have left when the soundtrack played its fourth note. That Zorro
style Cuban Cantina music...aagh, hate it.
Honesty,
the star rating is for the butt shots. But, even boobies and butts
can't keep you from eating like a Pigasnarauas Rex through the
whole damn thing just to stay awake!
Snack
recommendation: Dark coffee
|
