Snatch

Buy It Now!

Is genius too strong an adjective to describe Snatch? I don't think so. What an intelligent piece of collaborative work. The audience is catapulted through this masterpiece relentlessly. Lightning quick shifts, ominous underlying violence and many hearty giggles from the beginning straight to the end await you. British maestro, writer/director, Guy Ritchie ( his first feature was that super Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels) is an immense talent who has, once again, has brought to our shores one of the most original and refreshing films of our time.

Snatch's story goes...There's been a heist of an eighty-six carat diamond...Franky Four Fingers (Benicio "Come on man! Don't three freakin' movies out at once mean I can at least smoke in here? Christ!" Del Toro) is the lead bad- guy- robber man. Now he's in charge of bringing the multiple carats to the Jewish launderette. But before he heads to the the stolen goods wash-n-sell, he needs to make a quick pit stop in London...

London's well informed of FFF's arrival and the web is strung. Boris the Blade is ready for the sharp- dressed- digit- missing-mutli lingual chap. Boris' mission? Get that diamond from Franky! Hmm. Franky's tough. Franky's mean. Franky's not going down easy. What's his weakness? Fine clothes? A good cigar? Chit chat on precious stones of the Aztecs? Noop. But Boris knows.

Now we start to understand the plights of our narrator, a man named Turkish (Jason Statham—yes, he played Bacon in director Rictchie's other masterpiece Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels). He's a pretty straight arrow in the boomerang business of promotions and gamblings. His partner Tommy is about to make a faux pas so terrible, their days of roasting sausages happily in a grill next to their filthy boxing ring may come crashing to an end. A smelly pig pen of an end...

Meet the rooter of all Turkish's troubles, a man named Brick Top (Alan "Austin Powers chompers" Ford). Bricky wants a favor...Brick's running an illegal boxing match and wants to use one of Turk's guys. You don't want to be mixed up with this Black Top, er, Brick Top guy. Think dying at the hands of rabid pigs starved till human meat looks like banana sundaes with extra fudge..A fantastic villain.


Enter a few guys (Robbie Gee, Lennie James, and Ade) just eeking by. Till Boris strikes up a deal with them. All they have to do is get the briefcase Franky Four Fingers has bolted to his arm...bring it to Boris and they get their dough...

With me so far? Okay, next let's just say Turkish's fore mentioned partner loses the boxer evil psycho Brick Top's counting (and betting heavy bacon bits) on...Enter a "Piker" named Mickey. Piker appears to be the Queen's Land's slang for white- trash- trailer- park-folk- that live like gypsy's and speak in a brogue meant to daze and confuse their prey.

What's this? Where's Franky? Franky's been seen at the jewelers. He was seen at the tailor's (and let me just aside a moment with what fun it is watching actor Del Toro get fitted for several outfits-it was like a virgin's dirty dream— that man can wear clothes— she said wiping the droplets of sweat from her forehead). That's it! New Yorker, cousin Avi's (a hysterical Dennis Farina), jumping the pond— he's very concerned about Franky and his briefcase, er, health.

Still cousin Avi can not locate FFF. He calls in a friend, Bullet Tooth (Vinnie -nice and tall. A true manyumsicle- Jones). Bullet's got a bone to pick with just about everyone. If Franky's alive he'll find 'im.

You getting the gist? Snatch is a wholly different, fast paced manfest extravaganza. It's a fun frolicking gangster movie..if you will.

Brad Pitt's body is even buffer than in Fight Club. How can that be? This guy is a baker's dozen of Krispy Kreme sensations. Yum-o-rama. He's such a phenomenal, exciting actor. You never know what he's going to bring to the screen!

Benicio Del Toro finally shows his studmuffin physique again— feared to be a distant memory after the recent rotunda role of Javier .( A friend thought I needed therapy when I insisted he truly was an attractive, intelligent, literate guy) You'll be seeing a lot more of this guy. He's an intense talent who's time has finally come.

All the boys were polished and exact. A real treat at the movies! On the way out I asked if I could please pay again so they'd keep bringing in movies this good—they just stared...

Get out and see this one. Maybe twice!

Official site -> HERE

Snack recommendation: Cuban sandwiches— they've got three kinds of pork! And milk.

Starring: Jason Stratham, Vinnie Jones, Benicio Del Toro, Dennis Farina, Brad Pitt Robbie Gee, Lennie James, Ade, and Alan Ford

Directed by: Guy Ritchie