Truth About Charlie
Starring: Thandie Newton, and Mark Walberg
Directed by: Jonathon Demme
truth about Charlie is that when you have a classic film
as well done as Charade - the film The Truth About Charlie is
loosely based on - you don't dare tempt fate or the ghosts of
great films gone by. Let it be. What's with Wahlberg. First he
gets himself involved with Planet of the Apes - which I was wicked
kind to because of the extraordinary costumes and my undying love
for Tim - Nightmare Before Christmas- Burton now this- charade!
dude, you're acting like the little prince. I mean shall I blame
it on Rio? You start singin' in the rain and I swear hell hath
no fury funny face! Why don't you look out for indiscreet roles?
Look for a role that delivers you kismet would ya? Okay that was
a clumsy ode to Charade Director Stanley Donen
razor sharp point is that other than finding a rather cool Audrey
Hepburn type actress to play the lead this film had zilch going
even adorable actress Thandie Newton, whose look is most Hepburnesque
and properly girly with a diligent apparently trained and patented
pout, comes off as a twit just about half way through this farce;
each frame seems to suck more brain matter from the poor kid.
She is strung through implausible and foolish plot feeders to
story revolves around a group of militants after a fellow named
"Charlie's" diamonds. Well, they are not really Charlie's
diamonds they are Mr. Dyle's diamonds that Charlie and crew stole.
Charlie Lambert (Stephen Dillane) is murdered the hunt for the
diamonds now includes a few more suspicious characters and nut
beautiful and girly girl wife Regina (Thandie Newton) returns
to their sprawling apartment in the hoity toity section of Paris.
She's been away, after three months of marriage, on a vacation
in the Caribbean only to find her house empty and trashed. Okay
the first -- if you don't count the blushing bride high tailing
it to the carribean after a mere 3 monhs of marriage -- of gazillion
unbuyable scenarios starts to rear its ugly head as a chap she
"bumped" into in the islands, conveniently, bumps
into her at the Paris airport. He just keeps reappearing. This
adorable mansteak sneak is named Joshua.
Peters (Mark " M & M flavored" Wahlberg) seems smitten
with Regina or rather "Reggie" as he annoyingly immediately
and continuously (like a infomercial barker) keeps calling her.
He also is also conveniently, there when Charlie's old
and violent friends start to pop in on Ms. Lambert.
who to trust? Who to trust? Not Universal Studios! This piece
of crap cannot decide if it's a mystery, thriller, or spastic,
er, romantic comedy. Yech. The drizzle of comedy is delivered
mostly by uber cutey Tim Robbins. He plays the mysterious Mr.
Bartholomew; a supposed government agent with a tendency for dramatics.
Tim brightened the screen in his few sporadic scenes.
Wahlberg does his usual " whisper" through the crapshoot.
At one point I could hear fellow patrons whispering themselves,
"whaddesay?" Sure Le Mark takes his shirt off and all
is right with the world briefly; he's built like a fancy plump
pastry gently warmed in the oven and smeared with rich lickable
full fat frosting! He's a true mansteak specimen. BUT that does
not warrant our lost hours on this extravagant cinema le Poo and
speak up man!
the ten bucks each of your viewing party had put aside for this
flick de jour to stop at the market and make an impromtu stay-at-home
soiree instead; grab some Brie cheese, crusty bread and a nice
red wine and rent Charade, so you can see how this film was suppose
recommendation: Croissants and jam if you must venture forth