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Tomb Raider 2: The Cradle of Life

Starring: Angelina Jolie, Gerard Butler, Ciaran Hinds, and Noah Taylor.
Directed by:
Jan De Bont

 

 

Wowsers can this chickbabe kick some ass! Believe it or not the action is even more prolific then in the first soirée of Ms. Croft on the big screen.

Story goes…while searching for sunken treasure off the coast of Santorini archeologist and tomb raider extraordinaire, Lara Croft (Angelina " I don't need no stinking stunt-double" Jolie) discovers a pristine gallery filled with forbidden goods.

So she and a couple crew members start filling their pockets with the shiny trinkets and viola the bad guys appear.

As the opposing teams destroy what would be an archeological find of the millennium, Lara grabs a singularly fascinating piece that is not unlike an orb of ancient Amber.

Oopsie. The evil murderous tomb robber (Simon Yam) spots our hero cradling the trinket and viciously pursues her, snagging the coveted orb and leaving Lara to die beneath the waves…

Tah, you can't get rid of Lara Croft that easy buddy! She holds her breath and commandeers a stunned shark to surf to the surface...hehe.

Turns out the nasty bad guy that parlayed the orb works for chemical guru Jonathan Reiss (Ciaran Hinds). A certified nutter, Reiss is hell bent on reworking the world's population to suite his diabolical manifesto. With this orb he can find Pandora's Box. See, the orb is a map (Dun-dun-dun! <- dramatic music).

Pandora's Box is not a fantastical myth at all but a legit tangible item, and it holds within, a plague, which will devastate Earth. Reiss (somehow) has the plague antidote and will choice who lives and who dies during the impending Armageddon. Go with it - if you start to use the logical side of the brain simply recall the shark cab scene 'nough said?

Lara must get the orb back and fast. She partners up with an ex-guy pal and uber agent turned bad, Terry Sheridan (Gerard Butler). Theirs is a love/hate relationship with Lara firmly in the driver's seat.

Together they jet around the globe hunting down the orb and ultimately finding the box itself set in a well of molten goop within "The Cradle of Life." Of course the evil Reiss is right there lecherously frothing at the bit to unleash his fury…

Angelina Jolie rocks as the tough girl playin' amongst da boyz. She seems to relish in the adventures and frolic in the mayhem…not unlike her super wild real life - with maybe a little nicer bad guys in the film version.

The lad as the ex-boyfriend and adventurous sidekick, Gerard Butler, grows on you but never reaches mansteak status. Perhaps it's his deep nearly indecipherable Scottish accent that has you focusing on his words rather then his yummyness that caused the "Studmuffin Alert" signals to stay quiet.

TR2: The Cradle of Life is just fun. It's based on a video game for criminey so don't expect a Pulitzer prizewinning story- but it is surprisingly intelligent within all the fantastical stunts and hoopla! Get out and enjoy.

Snack recommendation: Protein Bars

 

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