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 Tomb
Raider 2: The Cradle of Life
Starring:
Angelina Jolie, Gerard Butler, Ciaran Hinds, and Noah Taylor.
Directed by: Jan
De Bont
Wowsers
can this chickbabe kick some ass! Believe it or not the action
is even more prolific then in the first soirée of Ms. Croft
on the big screen.
Story
goes…while searching for sunken treasure off the coast of
Santorini archeologist and tomb raider extraordinaire, Lara Croft
(Angelina " I don't need no stinking stunt-double" Jolie)
discovers a pristine gallery filled with forbidden goods.
So she and a couple crew members start filling their pockets with
the shiny trinkets and viola the bad guys appear.
As the opposing teams destroy what would be an archeological find
of the millennium, Lara grabs a singularly fascinating piece that
is not unlike an orb of ancient Amber.
Oopsie.
The evil murderous tomb robber (Simon Yam) spots our hero cradling
the trinket and viciously pursues her, snagging the coveted orb
and leaving Lara to die beneath the waves…
Tah,
you can't get rid of Lara Croft that easy buddy! She holds her
breath and commandeers a stunned shark to surf to the surface...hehe.
Turns
out the nasty bad guy that parlayed the orb works for chemical
guru Jonathan Reiss (Ciaran Hinds). A certified nutter, Reiss
is hell bent on reworking the world's population to suite his
diabolical manifesto. With this orb he can find Pandora's Box.
See, the orb is a map (Dun-dun-dun! <- dramatic music).
Pandora's
Box is not a fantastical myth at all but a legit tangible item,
and it holds within, a plague, which will devastate Earth. Reiss
(somehow) has the plague antidote and will choice who lives and
who dies during the impending Armageddon. Go with it - if you
start to use the logical side of the brain simply recall the shark
cab scene 'nough said?
Lara
must get the orb back and fast. She partners up with an ex-guy
pal and uber agent turned bad, Terry Sheridan (Gerard Butler).
Theirs is a love/hate relationship with Lara firmly in the driver's
seat.
Together
they jet around the globe hunting down the orb and ultimately
finding the box itself set in a well of molten goop within "The
Cradle of Life." Of course the evil Reiss is right there
lecherously frothing at the bit to unleash his fury…
Angelina Jolie rocks as the tough girl playin' amongst da boyz.
She seems to relish in the adventures and frolic in the mayhem…not
unlike her super wild real life - with maybe a little nicer bad
guys in the film version.
The
lad as the ex-boyfriend and adventurous sidekick, Gerard Butler,
grows on you but never reaches mansteak status. Perhaps it's his
deep nearly indecipherable Scottish accent that has you focusing
on his words rather then his yummyness that caused the "Studmuffin
Alert" signals to stay quiet.
TR2:
The Cradle of Life is just fun. It's based on a video game
for criminey so don't expect a Pulitzer prizewinning story- but
it is surprisingly intelligent within all the fantastical stunts
and hoopla! Get out and enjoy.
Snack
recommendation: Protein Bars
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