is unsellable! How did they get Samuel L Jackson to agree to
Bruce we get he had his Schwarzenigvandamsegalstallone
action figure career resuscitated by his once again director/writer
M. Night Shyamalan .
Usually when a movie is this badly done I can soften up the
stink fest by spraying verbal Lysol over the review. Maybe the
acting was good but the script was off. Or perhaps the director
ruined the script's flow with his/her own vision.Or when all
that fails blame the producer for getting the together the wrong
set of folks, behind and in front of the camera.
I can blame one man for this celluloid dung heap of rotten chalupas.
M. Night (shamalamadingdong) Shyamalan , writer, director and
producer. Yeah, the same man responsible for the wonderful goldenly
executed sleeper The Sixth Sense. Lightening not only
didn't strike twice- but I'll bet this takes M. Night right
off the new hot director/writer A list with a
bright red ball point pen.
of the Gun may not have been another Usual Suspects for
precocious director/writer Christopher McQuarrie but at least
his actor's shined. This just bites the steal hardened croissant
goes...Ne'er do well middle-class dad David (Bruce
"Bald and still a man kebab " Willis) is the only
survivor of a terrible train wreck. In fact he walks away untouched-
not a scratch...nothing.
This brings around a strange man with an odd black and purple
jacket, a glass cane , and a really really dated style to his
Afro American hair, Elijah Price AKA Mr. Glass ( Sam"
I am so ashamed- please don't see this" L. Jackson).
Glass starts giving Dave a psychotic song and dance about Dave
being unbreakable like the heroes in his comic books.
-Which finally explains the ultra-misplaced descriptive paragraph
on comic book statistics in the very front of the film- which
then cut to a closet in a department store where a woman had
just birthed a baby?? Which had me ask the man next to me if
this was indeed Unbreakable- I thought they accidentally
were running X-Men or something.-
Dave starts to recall (tah) he's never had a sick day in his
life. Hmm. Then he recalls he never did get hurt in the "near
fatal " car wreck he and his wife Megan (totally wasted
uberactress Robin Wright Penn) were in. Hmm.There's a pattern
slowly developing here!
Bruce Willis is as slow as Keanu Reeves is blank 'nuff said?
Glass explains things ...Glass is a breakable guy. He's got
low bone density which makes him shatter like glass with
any abrupt contact. Dave is apparently an unbreakable guy.
They are ying and yang on the spectrum of---bone density? HMO
deductible choices? What?
No, the story and plot gives a tad more than that. It could
have been excellent. That is what infuriates me so deeply. How
can a story this good go so bad? You may actually get dragged
to this by a Sixth Sense fan...wouldn't want to ruin
the ending. After all you'll be suffering through an hour and
a half of mundane performances and stiflingly dull sets that
look like they were lifted from Welcome Back Kotter to
get to the big revelation. Faarrr be it from me to ruin
the only cool part of the whole damned thing.
Skip this. It happens to be a colossal shame as well as a waste
of a perfectly good night at the movies.
Recommendation: French Toast and Espresso.
Samuel L. Jackson, Bruce Willis, and Robin Wright Penn.
Directed By: M. Night Shyamalan