Diane Lane, Richard Gere, Oliver Martinez, Erik Per Sullivan and
by: Adrian Lyne
is unbelievably boring. The acting's good, obviously, just
look at the cast; Richard Gere, Diane Lane. But the story plods
along so slow that any attempt to grasp onto even their
thespian draw is lost as the sleep fairy smacks you upside the
head with snooze dust and drags you into a sleepy schnookie slumber.
Sumner (Diane -stunning - Lane) has the picture perfect life.
She has a big beautiful home, a cute son (Erika Per Sullivan)
, and a gorgeous husband, Edward (Richard- scrumptious- Gere)
that works hard, fills a suit nicely and happens to adore her
she's bored and wants more.
for her one day, while innocently out on a little shopping spree,
Connie meets a handsome young buck that comes complete with a
French accent, brooding eyes, wispy bad-boy hair and that coveted
rock solid mansicle frame women peruse through GQ for. This sex
lion fantasy wrapped in a man suit's name is Paul (Olivier Martinez).
next thing you know she's in his chambre à coucher d'amour
le rabid Rhesus monkey sex with him le over and le over again.
Meanwhile her husband Edward is getting a tad suspicious as her
stories of daily duties are continually turning out to be false.
That's usually a good sign. "I'm busy. I have a Facial appointment."
No facial appoinment. "Can't have lunch, sorry, have a fund
raising event.". There's no fund raising event. Chances are
pretty good she's enrolled in the oh-so-popular Cheating w/Young
Bucks 101 class. Of course there's also about fifteen new bras
and crotchless undies in her drawer he's never seen caressing
her body. He decides to hire a detective to get to the truth because
someone as bright as Edward catches on fast.
so it took you about 5 minutes or so to read that right? Now sit
through that for two hours and see if you can stay awake. Man,
I was so deeply nodding I had drool slipping down my chin!
Olivier Martinez the study man kebab playing Paul (the brooding
bookworm she's getting a wee bit-o-afternoon delight with) was
entertaining for a while...But we seemed to be having the affair
in real time with this broad for crimeney sakes. Even his
well formed pecs and robust quads got to be "ho-hum look
more manflesh" after the fortieth soft porn sequence.
Gere who played "Edward The Nice Guy" is one of my faves.
I see everything he does. I loved his last clever horror film
Mothman Prophecies. But this? Nope...And
yes some other were awful too. But he's still like man heroin
and I figure sometimes the fix just aint pure if you know what
I mean. Unfaithful has him in great form in more ways than
one ...he's so handsome I'd convert to any crazy religion he wanted
for a peak at his BVDs!
Lane is a great and beautiful actress. The film really gave her
a great role. The strong take charge gal willing to risk her security
to live life dangerously and with some new found passion. We got
that...the problem wasn't her, she was excellent.
problem was the length of the film. There's no huge surprise at
the end after we've given hours to the crumbling family and fornicating
dou. We knew where the story was going about fifteen minutes into
the damned thing. We were on the Highway of The Expected, there
were no side trip to Twisted Turn Canyon or Clever Subplot Road.
And when we turned off Story Boulevard onto Plot Lane there was
nothing lurking in the shadows. Unfaithful
stayed faithful to the expected, unfortunately. I just can't think
of any part of the film that warranted one subjecting themselves
to this much time in a room full of sniffing, sneezing,
whispering, farting strangers.
intimate scenes are beautiful, the sets perfect and when Gere
takes over the last bit of the film it the pace got a little breathless--
for a nanosecond-- but it was too late. Skip this unless you suspect
your loved one may be unfaithful. Then bring them to see Unfaithful,
it'll snap them right out of it. But be careful it could also
put them in a coma like sleep state if they're innocent.
Recommendation: Muffins and coffee