Starring: Jean Reno, Ryoko Hirosue, and Michel Muller
Directed by: Gérard Krawczyk
Japanese) with English subtitles
those unfamiliar, is an intense powerful horseradish. So given
the title one would expect the film using such a daring descriptive
word as a moniker for its content to also be intense and powerful.
Not so. The writer, Luc Besson, is very popular in Japan. My Japanese
friend said he's like Spielberg or Lucas is here. And he's written
an action film. So perhaps his popularity is why this farcical
fart of a film was made. I cannot for the life of me see its point.
The telegraphed story goes
Detective Hubert Fiorentini (Jean
Reno) is a wild man cop. His hysterical (not) antics have
his commanders in a state of tizzy like a firm froth on a frilly
When the superiors learn the diabolically mischievous detective's
ex-lover in Japan has died they insist he head over, take a break,
and remember her.
He is met
by his old colleague from his past Japan secret police service
days (?) named Momo (Michel Muller). The two are a blatant attempt
at the film comedy duo. But even the fourth wall breaking glances
of Bob Hope with Bing Crosby were a billion times subtler than
these two generic character's horrid oblique comedy timing. I
fully expected Michael McDonald (MadTv) to burst onto set as a
flamboyant "director character" shouting; "And
SCENE!" after each cued bit.
Fiorentini 's homecoming isn't quite done. He has to meet with
his ex's attorney for the reading of her will. There's a huge
sum of money left and a daughter!
Yumi (Ryoko Hirosue), who hates her father, whom she's never met
and (har-har) doesn't realize it's the gasping-for-air-at-the-discovery
detective. The daughter has the same annoying perpetually moving
kinetic personality. So, here's a girl that has just learned her
mother is dead, perhaps murdered, and all she wants to do is have
fun! Girls will be girls huh? Argh!
the "stranger" Fiorentini on a huge shopping spree to
watch her buy too many tacky outfits. But, oh-oh what's this?
The Japanese mafia guy they call "zebra" is after them?
Huge shoot out in the mall - where the daughter is oblivious to
the goings on around her thanks to badly choreographed fight scenes
between her "father" and the hoodlums after them. Please
let this end
. was all I could think as the bad acting congealed
with the mediocre kung fu bits.
Jean Reno is a big star in France
remember these folks liked
Jerry Lewis like we love us our Elvis too though before you go
getting too impressed. Here Jean plays bad guys with an accent
in some action films. Suits me fine.
Ryoko Hirosue, is a huge corporation in her homeland of Japan.
Like a Brittany Spears but with a clothing line, perfume division
and book deal. A mega businesswoman. Of course she can't act -
but they don't seem to care. She's popular and super keen hip.
the film is hitting some important pop culture bits for the Japanese
audience and if it were not so wickedly stupid through and through
I'd be kinder. But as far as I am concerned it wasted nearly two
hours of my precious time and has given me an odd repulsion at
the site of wasabi. Yech.
An Italian meal till the dread of wasabi goes away.