Movie Reviews


The Watcher

Keanu Reeves has been taking The Health Valley Natural Biorythym Acting Pill with his daily multi and Fruit Loops every morning. At least a low dosage of the acting pill.- I'm not saying he's a John Barrymore or anything- just that he's actually believable. Sure, he was still semi-blank and monotonous- but, with The Watcher his nondescript style of acting fits. How else would you buy a man this beautiful wouldn't be noticed everywhere he went. Mr. Strong Jaw Reeves is tall and unique looking- certainly noticeable. Keaunu is not a typical serial killer's profile type-according to The FBI Files on Discovery! Keanu's uncanny lack of personal aura or energy cements his performance...I mean that in a nice way.

James Spader, who we just don't see enough of, is his usual dramatic self. His character lacked a soul. Blame the script please. Jim's made to look disheveled and generally haphazard throughout the suspenseful flick, but even playing a sloth, Spader's immense intensity shines through.

Keanu and James are the actor's Ying and Yang of energy-Yessiree Bob.

Story goes... Joe Campbell (Spader) is retired from the FBI. He had to due to his excessive partaking of various mind altering narcotics and chronic migraine shots...They just don't mix with effective police work. Problem is he brings an old nemesis into retirement with him, one sick dude-dude. A real lady killer David Griffin (Keanu "Dude" Reeves).

The killer, Dave, follows Joe to Chicago and starts sending him Fed Ex photos of the next lucky contestant on his own personal Psycho Tic Tac Toe Show. Then the real cat and mouse olympics begin. Dave gives Joe a worthy time frame to find the next victim-to stop the murder- a sick treasure hunt if you will. But, alas the cold city can't seem to recognize the Jane Doe their shown all over town. Loud game show buzzer sound and times up and victim 11 or 12 is claimed.

When David decides to meet with Joe and explain his feelings of brotherly love-Joe has to do some quick thinking. Ever the attention hound Dave , has made it personal for Joe again...with his beautiful shrink Dr. Polly (Marisa Tomei-ane poisoning) as would be/will be victim 13. Can Joe save her?

Marisa Tomei stars aside the manly dudes. She's not given much to do. Shame, she always brightens up a scene.

The Watcher was, at times, terrifying- Mostly with the single gal unaware some ass**** is in her house- waiting-watching-scenes. Shudder. However, the film makers should have given a touch more depth to one or more of the characters- we didn't know them, we didn't understand their motives. Sure, plot time's limited- but, they gave us some flash backs of Joe's personal hell, but never gave us a peek into the rotting crevices in dear Dave's demented cranium..

The story had big fat pot holes - for that this is a rental. Too bad, I love Spader and rushed to see this. Not to mention that big hunky Hawaiian Luau of a man kebab- Keanu. Jeeze Louise, he just gets more delicious as time goes on-dude. His bad guy is wearing black on black with black - a particularly sexy concoction for the lad. Promotes special thoughts- if you get my blatant drooling drift.

Fun with Keanu

Snack Recommendation: Take -out Vietnamese food

Starring: Keanu Reeves, James Spader, and Marisa Tomei

Directed by: Joe Charbanic

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