Josh Harnett, Rose Byrne, Matthew Lillard and Diane Kruger
Directed by: (I swear) Paul McGuigan
speaking? Wicker Park is wickedly stupid. By the end
of this thriller farce you'll be hootin' and catcalling the talking
heads on the screen before you
me at least. And has anyone
noticed Josh Hartnett can't act yet? People wake up and look past
the Ivy League looks please
Photographer Matthew (Josh Hartnett) has lost the love
of his life. They seemed to have drifted apart - suddenly.
But he's moved on and found a fiancé, great job and is
shufflin' off to China. He's dining at some fancy restaurant when
a casual conversation hints of his impending marriage freaks him
out and sends him to the bathroom in-a-spin.
suddenly, he hears his ex once-in-a-lifetime love in a
phone booth via a vent beside the men's room.
When he puts voice to face, he runs from the urinals and chases
her to no avail
the "ex" breaks her heel in the
departure. A clue. He ends up wigged out enough to postpone his
trip to China and start a gumshoe-like hunt for the disappearing
broad. Except he's no Phillip Marlowe.
a mousy chick (Rose Byrne) that happens along into his life
right. She's living in what Matthew believes to be his ex's apartment.
She has the same name. Wears the same shoes and oh-so-many other
it's-gotta-be-her thingys. Of course it's not his ex and the spiral
of intrigue attempts to start its twirl.
Get this. Matthew breaks in to the mousy girl's apartment. She
catches him. They mock-fight. They end up sleeping together...Hahahaha
- it's that stupid.
"Mr. I Live For My Ex" has to also pretend to be calling
his present betrothed (remember her?) from China. Boy has this
guy opened up a Pandora's box when he played hide the schnitzel
wiener with girl three dubbed the "psycho" mousy girl
by him and his bestest friend (Matthew Lillard). Nice guys huh?
The premise is great. Love at first sight. One gets the object
. the other lives in the shadow of dismissal. The
holes in the script are big enough to park a stretch Hummer in
- parallel! For example? Okay. Only one cast member has a friggin
cell phone, a couple breaks up without trying to CALL one another,
and another goombah has no answering machine. Too pathetically
unrealistic to stitch your bridge of suspension into Film Land.
Hartnett should do soap operas or something nice and "mellow"
like that. He's got the energy of a sloth. And Matthew Lillard
- once again - the comic relief deserves better. The women, Rose
Byrne and Diane Kruger come off as plastic and monochromatic cartoons
of supposed women-types. I simply adore director Paul McGuigan
(Gangster #1 and The Reckoning)
so it pains me to waste one more moment ripping his film to the
shreds it deserves this time around.
Snack recommendation: No-doze.