by: Barry Sonnenfeld
Starring: Kevin Kline, Wil Smith, Kenneth Branagh
and Salma Hayek
Well it didn't SUCK! That is to say I really had no desire to view this
cinematic kucka and it wasn't as bad as expected. Granted, I was in
love with Artemus GordonJim West's side kick in the original TV
show so much-I may be biased.
If you never saw the touted cult classic Starring Robert "tight
slacks" Conrad and Ross "Sleepy-eyed" Martin you're probably
not gonna like this. See, the original Wild Wild West grows
on you. Ya know, nothing else was on and the guys were cute. Ted Turner
no doubt owns the shows-so you could find it on one of his eight thousand
channels- if you want. WWW had outlandish villains, put our
heroes in inescapable scenarios and threw in weapons and such that just
could not have existed back then. But, it was fun. So was this. La de
WWW 99 is the same thing but utilizes great actors to
string together a made-for-TV style script. Herein is it's downfall.
This would have been a hit on Sunday night. On the big screen it's strictly
for the few, the proud, who knew and loved the show or wanna see Willie
strut around in black silk suits!
Wil Smith is a Blunt Review favorite; so cute and chocolatey-sweet.
As Jim West, he delivers his usual dry-perky-smile-style with an air
of arrogance that keeps him cool in an uncool West. Dontcha just hate
anything Western- yech.
The sets looked like Knottsberry Farm or some back lot at Universal
Studios! I kept expecting a tour bus filled with Ohio-ans to pass through.
Which makes me ask why was Kevin "Mr. Versatile" Kline was
in this? He was fabulous as Artemus Gordon. Quick-witted and intelligent
looking in his wild ensembles. But, isn't he a higher caliber actor?
True comedies and real plots? This was a little B movie-ish. Don't get
me wrong-I love B movies, when I expect a B movie...
observation: Jim (Smith) kept ragging on him that his inventions would
work one of these days-meanwhile every invention worked and saved
West's life over and over again. I thought were the repeated insults
suppose to be in another version of the film? (The good version?)
A huge faux pas, no? Mon dieu!
Ken Brenananagnaghagh (Branagh) aka Mr. Shakespeare, plays Dr. Arliss
Loveless. He had the best toys! Dr. Loveless is half the man he use
to be-literally- and blames (as most delusional psychopaths do) everyone
around him, especially the U.S. Government, for his present state of
half-being. Dr. Loveless has kidnapped the world's smartest scientists
to take over the "Big Blue Meanie", USA. West and he have
a "past" with each other so it's personal for them. Yawn.
They use kinda funny racist, and cripple double entendres for most of
the flick to verbally spar. Dr. Loveless is wicked creepygood
Now on to Salma (shudder) Hayek! What is this awful
actress' appeal? Come on people-
is it the boobies? She was awful ,awful, awful. Not to mention, she
is very hard to understand. Her accent is so heavy (we've seen anvils
that are lighter) we lost some scenes. Please Mr. Producer, you're
makin' some dough on this flick, get a language tutor, huh? Or just
speak Spanish-it would have been easier to translate!
You know, I may be kinder to this movie because I had just suffered
through that big piece of celluloid feces called Big
Daddy. Should have been called Big Do Do. I just didn't
Wild Wild West should do better on video when the summer's
over and you're looking for mindless
mayhem to forget about the days buls$%@^. The title song's fun.
Snack recommendation: Beef jerky