 X-Men
III: The Last Stand
 
May
is McKellen Month Here at BluntReview.com!
Starring:
Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Ian McKellan,Patrick Stewart, Kelsey Grammer, Anna
Paquin and all the leedle mutants we love
Directed by: Bret Ratner
Hugh
Jackman Interview Bluntly
speaking? I am of
the firm belief that anything where Ian McKellen is
involved is sure to be a winning venture. Face it, Sir Ian's in that rare realm
of thespian folks you could watch read a Hungarian goulash ingredient list, alone
upon a blank dank stage which is dressed in but one dim bulb, while mites
(that are possibly plague-ridden)-bite mercilessly at your ankles, and
you'd still be mesmerized, hanging on his every syllable. Here,
in X-Men 3: The Last Stand, Mac and his mutant cohorts do not disappoint.
The elements of all the beloved characters are being sewn up nicely and the final
chapter leaves you fairly full up on developments. Still, CGI wizardry and high-volume
action scenes acknowledged, as a whole the film lacks…shall we say…pizzazz? Story
goes…Mutants and human relationships are still strained. There are a few
mutants makin' a bad name for the others who just wanna get along. Xavier's
School for the Gifted, holds among the student body, a team of elite mutants that
rush to the rescue of mere mortals and mutants alike when the likes of power mad
anti-Homosapien Magneto come a callin' with the latest dohinky of doom. But this
time it's the U.S. government that has hatched a new link in the evolution of
cohabitation. They found a mutant that carries an anti-mutant gene in his blood.
His rare strain makes even the wackiest of super powers dissipate when his "antibody"
fluid is introduced. They have a cure for being a mutant… Magneto
(Ian McKellen) is not happy! A cure? They don't need no stinkin' cure! Meanwhile,
characters frolic about and the motley crew of do-gooders, Storm (Halle Berry),
Logan (Hugh Jackman), Iceman (Shawn Ashmore), and so forth, have to save the world
again. But, as this is the final in the trilogy, the writers are going
to serve up some pretty unexpected alliances, and strange choices of character
killing-offs abound! Still, snippets of unexpected daring aside, the story isn't
even close to as satisfying as May's climatic LOST season finale; it's Lost Light
with1/2 the body and 1/3 the soul. But I suppose, X-Men folks will relish in the
twists and answers. I ate like a Tyrannosaurus Rex just to stay awake during the
Wolf-free scenes…
There are a coupla mutant introductions added for
your viewing pleasure. First is a blue-furry government liaison, Secretary of
Mutant Affairs, named, Dr. Hank McCoy aka The Beast (Kelsey Grammer). Second is
an oddly uninvolved character named Angel (Ben Foster) the man with the Arc Angel-like
wingspan. Angie is beloved and essential in the comic, yet, unloved and adrift
in the film, He's developed then dropped like a delicate sparrow's nest caught
up in a tornado of rapid fire plot points. This
is X -Men kids, and one does not expect 'A Twelfth Night' deep yarn to play out
before you. And story-wise X-Men 3 does not disappoint in the minimal brain-space
required to follow the bouncing mutants.
X3: The Last Stand is almost stupid actually, and if Sir Ian and Hugh the
Beautiful were not mixed in to the mayhem, and if Sideshow Bob's voice
were not bellowing(- hilariously quipping one liners)- from a (dare I say it)
manly version of Kelsey Grammar disguised as a smart aleck turquoise-tinged bloke
with a shedding issue, one would re-rent X-Men 2 and admire the snarling
brooding Wolverine chap slipped into form fitting leather frothing and foaming
within a much better film…
Snack
recommendation. Furr-free fudge flavored Bon Bons while ingesting audio cues
from The Cure on full blast within your abode, and a muted Apt Pupil, for visual
punctuation, on the widescreen.
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