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XXX


Starring: Vin Diesel, Samuel L Jackson, Asia Argento, and Marton Csokas
Directed by: Robert Cohen
Rated: R

 

XXX is X-actly what you expect from the new hunky mega-star Vin Diesel. It's fast furious and full of smirks and snarls!

XXX is pure adrenaline infused- high octane- lead free- action flick that's X-tremely fun to watch. The action never stops and each stunt is more elaborate then the next! Yeah. And warm and fuzzy thanks to Revolution Studios, not just for the eight billion stunts and gazillion eye popping special effects but more importantly, for finally giving us a "secret agent" that looks and acts like he could actually pull these things off. Pierce Bronsan, er, 007 for example, is an agent that is a tad unbelievable. I mean he's really a high-strung snobby bit of a tart with five hundred dollar penny loafers perpetually adorned in Armani suits frolicking about with the bad guys; he's a tad girly and prissy. Compare his foo-foo agent in pleats with this testosterone powered mansteak squared XXX (Vin Diesel) sexing up the screen and whipping the bad guys to a bloody pulp while barely flexing one beautiful bulging bicep and the whole 007 scenario looks sadly laughable.

Story goes....

Xander "XXX" Cage (Vin - call Emily Blunt - Diesel) is Mr. Tough Guy. He's an underground thrill seeker that's one step ahead of the law….
OOPS got 'im. Now NSA Agent Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson) uses a possible prison term over the notorious XXX's head.

Agent Gibbins has no strong unknown agents for the latest "save the world" mission. He thinks XXX is perfect; he's got the skills, he's got the attitude and he's in trouble with the law.

XXX goes along, reluctantly, and ends up in deep over his head in spoiled borscht. The leader of the evil Russian ring of baddies, Yorgi (Marton Csokas), is hell-bent on his plans and nothing not even a super buff secret agent is going to stop him….

Okay, the plot is nothing new or particularly clever. But the pulsing soundtrack mixed with kick-ass stunts and effects makes Vin Diesel THE secret agent of the millennium so far. You watch thinking this man may just be invincible…I mean he's breath taking adorable already.

Vin Diesel's a studmuffin extraordinaire; pure man heroin. He's like a slice of all-American apple pie gently heated in the toaster oven of my heart till oozing delicious tasty bits, complete with a dollop of full cream vanilla. Slurp. He's also cool on screen. He almost has an "I don't give a shit" attitude in his acting. And considering how silly some of the dialog is in XXX this guy sailed through on his abundant charisma and made it not just palatable, but enjoyable….

Samuel L. Jackson needed redemption after his mediocre role in the Star Wars gigs or that hideous Unbreakable that still has me annoyed. Yeah, I loved Changing Lanes but he volleys between good choices and le poo. Here he's got a nice fringe agent role. He has just enough Sam infused to make it super fun to watch. Looking sharp there Sammie.

This Asia Argento who plays "the girl" Yelena, is a stunning woman and none too wimpy either! Keep an eye out.

Who's this bad guy Yorgi played be smoldering yumsicle Marton Csokas? Does he have his own twelve-month calendar? Marton in a fireman's outfit….Marton washing his dirty car….Marton gives good evil and hopefully we will see more of this intense actor.

XXX is purrfect sizzlin' summer fun! Bottom line: XXX is an A plus action flick complete with the mandatory sexgod hero, the pouty lipped vixen with balls, and the ever present heavy nasty bad guy usually with the one eybrow syndrom - if you know what I mean. Enjoy.

Snack Recommendation: Red bull and peirogies



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